"Are you a teetotaler?"

This whole crazy subject got brought up while discussing the play "Body Indian" by Hanay Geiogamah. Our class began discussing why there was so much use of alcohol in the play and if this was giving in to and feeding stereotypes. My class, and nothing against them, is half full of acting students. This makes for some very circular discussions because they are more concerned with acting than understanding. I am not saying this is true of all actors, but one of the girls said, "See, English Majors like to look really deep at the words and actions of people to see what they mean," when we started doing a group discussion and another one of the acting students didn't know what was going on. Anyways, back to the dog chasing its tail - the class began talking about why males would be more likely to be alcoholics than women. Personally, I see it as yet another held over ideal from Victorian times - men came home and had a night cap or went to their social clubs and had a drink (or more). Women, on the other hand, have been against alcohol since the Victorian times - many forming prohibition type organizations. This also plays into the notion that a woman was too innocent and weak to stand the effects of alcohol; in Gone With the Wind it is looked down on Scarlet because she develops a drinking problem.

As the rest of the group raged on in their limited, around and around, not going anywhere or having anything to do with the play, discussion, I leaned over to my friend and told him that I had never been drunk before. You would have thought that I had just revealed myself as an alien or that my head had begun to spin around revealing the demon within - his look was so astounded. He couldn't believe it! I guess, in a way, I am an alien since apparently it is expectable for young Wisconsinites to drink since we have nothing better to do with our time. Which explains his reaction: "Then what kind of drugs do you do?" Do I have to have a drug fill up my time? I am so busy I don't have time to drink. If I do have spare time, I like reading, watching movies, hanging with friends, playing games, doing puzzles. I also spend time day dreaming - I wonder if Emerson would condone my day dreams if he new it was in lieu of getting very drunk.

The next time I met this friend, it was St. Paddy's day -the good ol' excuse of every college student, heck anyone really, to get drunk and blast Flogging Molly. This friend decides to, yet again, bring up the fact that I have never been drunk before. He is in the middle of telling me how towards the end of the semester he is going to take me out and get me drunk. This is stated as I have to lead him away from the large puke puddle that he about walked into. Then he preceded to ask me about my favorite beer. I don't really like beer, I like Strongbow and cider and daiquiris and whiskey and vodka with juices. This blew his mind as well.

The following day, having to walk by the still present puke puddle, I had a practice interview at the career center. I am interviewing for a job dealing with college students living in a foreign country and one of the rules is no drinking to the point of intoxication. The career counselor asked me if I was a teetotaler. I paused because I had no clue what she meant by "teetotaler." When she finally explained, I was like - no! I really like to drink - I just don't do it often because I enjoy my braincells, I don't like not feeling 100% in control of my body, and I like spending my money on other things than alcohol (things that won't leave me questioning what the hell happened last night). I know this sounds corny, but I prefer to get giddily drunk from laughing. I'm watching Jeff Dunham right now, and I suppose I'd always prefer a belly ache from laughing than drinking.

Slangevar!