Passion Makes Up for Inexperience

So my internet is down, well, it is running super, super, super, duper slow!  It has been a long day and an interesting week.  Currently, I just have this happy feeling after doing yoga.  It's amazing how good you'll feel after an hour of yoga.  It's amazing how much better I feel after 5 minutes of child's pose.  It's 80 degrees in my apartment and I still feel blissfully happy. 

Relationships:  I know this guy; he's pretty easy to read.  I know it is his life's goal to be married and have kids.  I can feel that goal when he talks to me/looks at me.  It's a little intimidating.  I want to ask him if he likes me or if he just sees someone that can fill the slot.  You can convince yourself into love when you think you've found the "one" to fill the slot and are ready for that next big step in life.  Trust me, I convinced myself I was in love with a guy I now pretty much think is douchey.  He can be a good guy, but he's also an idiot.  I'm glad he found someone that makes him happy and he was able to marry and start a family.  Good for him - I am SO GLAD it wasn't me!  That relationship would have ended badly.

Health:  I am just very happy currently.  I guess it's just part of being to accept myself right where I am.  See what I want to become and make steps towards that person.  This sort of ties in with careers, but I sent out 20 resumes this Tuesday.  I am going for the job of my dreams.  Why not?!?  Passion makes up for inexperience!  I can send twenty out, twenty million out, I only need one that says yes.  And if all 20 say no, I'll send 20 more out.  I'm not going to stop going after my dreams!

Career:  I got offered a chance to teach the beginners class at the co-op today!  I'm excited to be offered a class.  A little not excited about the time: Saturday at 8am.  I'm not that much of a morning person.  That day is my day to sleep in and be lazy.  Not to mention, the perk of not working on a Friday is being able to leave Thursday night or Friday morning.    I'll think about it a little more.  Maybe see if that class might work at a different time, on a different day.  I also had to do the lovely job of cleaning dead bugs from light fixtures (on a 10 foot ladder).

Teacher, Teacher, Teach Me

Well tonight was pretty interesting!  I showed up to take a yoga class and ended up teaching it instead.  The regular teacher canceled last minute and when I showed up, they asked if I would teach.  YAY!  My heart was pounding at the beginning.  I know there were things I can improve on still, but it went well.  I just now realized that I totally forgot side plank on the opposite side.  We did it once, but not the second time.  Oops.  I didn't let myself get bogged down in "not being perfect" even though I knew the whole time I was being compared to Renee.  I just had us send our energy and happy thoughts out to her at the very end.  I'm happy my first class at the co-op was a surprise; I didn't have time to panic about being perfect and not having taught anyone since I passed my test.  Wow, I'm glad that first class with more than one person is behind me.  Now to let it go and come at the next class fresh!

Sutras

No, not the Kama sutra.  Sutras are like proverbs.  I just finished reading Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali BKS Iyengar.  It was a very interesting read and I'm glad I had a bit of a guide, both paper and mentor wise, otherwise I would have missed a lot.  To some it up: Be yourself, that is the purest form and to accept that person. You don't need objects or even others approval if you love yourself. It ties into "You can't control what someone else does to you, you can only control what you do in response."  I can't really go into too much more detail, it is just so good and more of a: read it and see how it applies to your life.  I'd suggest skipping the redundant preface parts.  I got more just from the actual sutras and the little explanation that Iyengar includes after them.  

Testing the Rhythm

Tonight I am going to work on my circadian rhythm.  This morning I woke up at 5:30 and refused to get up until at least 6.  I'm going to go to bed early and just try waking up early in the morning and having the energy to do things like my daily chores (ugh, dishes).  Really, at the end of the day, I really just feel like crashing with a good book.  Hopefully I will get a chance to test this theory out.  I'm headed off to my bed right now!  Maybe resetting the start of my circadian rhythm (moving my bed time up) will make me less sleepy during the day because it isn't so bad sleeping 10 to 5:30 as opposed to 11 to 5:30.  I can't seem to shake this stupid 5:30 wake up!  Well, off to zzzzzzzzzz!

I PASSED

Woot!  I passed my yoga teacher training!  Yay.  I didn't even get home until after 11pm on Sunday after leading my class.  It was amazing.  I really just let go and knew it wasn't the end of the world if I messed up!  I am really excited and still really nervous about going out there and teaching more than just one person at a time!  I also had a few other life firsts...well, one big one really, I got my first kiss while in Puerto Rico.  It was kind of awkward and right now I'm trying to decide if I miss the guy and his company or just kissing (in general, not specifically with him).  Hahaha.  Poor guy.  He really is a sweet heart and so similar to me, it's kind of scary. He has 5 dogs, a duck, and a snapping turtle.  He used to have 3 horses and some chickens/roosters too, but had to get rid of them.  It's like pet heaven there!

I love Tadasana, it's like a gymnast's celebration after sticking the landing.  It brings a smile to my face and I love how happy and excited this lady looks in this photo.

Some times

I'm not even quite sure what day it is.  Ugh - life gets a little weird sometimes. Sometimes I just want to run scared and sometimes I just want to cry.  Sometimes, child's pose is just the best place to go from there. 

Tired and Refreshed

Wow - I can't believe that it has already been 2 weeks since I left for Puerto Rico.  Crazy things have happened!  If it wasn't teacher training I went to, I'd swear it was 2 weeks of therapy!  Well worth every moment there.  I got to do some pretty amazing things and meet some pretty amazing people.  I can't say thank you enough to my teacher!