EVERYONE Knows Best

And I mean it.  EVERYONE...EVERY ONE! knows what is best for you when it comes to your relationship.  Last night, I got told how a husband and family can be wonderful anchor-blessings and to "go live in sin" (chuckle chuckle) for a year because, "what's the rush, do either of you have a terminal illness?" I have heard this and "move to be near him, so you can get to know him more" several times in the last few weeks.  I have no problem waiting.  I think my fiancee is going to be the one I want to marry a year from now.  However, I counter with "what's the slow up?" and "why the wait?"  There are things that are going to happen in our relationship that will test our resolve to stay with one another, whether or not I move down there and spend 3 months to a year at his side or marry him tomorrow.  Hell, I may be the problem starter one day and him the next.  I do have to say, the most interesting thing I have heard so far is: "when you say 'for better or worse,' it is your better and worse, not just his."  It was a way I had never thought about the phrase before, but it makes perfect sense.  While everyone is telling me to "slow down" has me thinking, it also brings perfect clarity to the fact that I still very much want to be married to this man.  What is so wrong with that?  Why do I have to "sit on it" or wait around for a golden ticket to appear one day and tell me "ok, he's the one; life will be an easy breeze with this guy"?   I have only seen my niece a handful of times, but I don't doubt that I love her very very much.  Take it, she's blood and absolutely adorable; however, I haven't had a single conversation with her, nor have I spent an extended period of time in her presence.  Does this make me hasty/rash/foolish for saying that I love her with every fiber of my being and will until the day I die? Yes, my fiancee and I have had BIG fights.  Yes, we have small things we say or do that can get on each other's nerves.  Does it mean that I am stopping loving him because of this? No.  When we get angry or upset, we sit down, usually in each others laps, face-to-face (when possible), and talk it out.  It is much harder over the phone and with 2000 miles in between, but we make it work. I know it won't be easy.  I know there are no guarantees in life either.  I could marry him and we'd live a wonderful, messy, full-of-love life together...or the opposite could happen.  Either of us could die in a car crash tomorrow (especially with the wonderful wintry mix/rain/thunderstorm/snow showers predicted for tomorrow).  Both of us want to only be married once and take the "to death do us part" vow very seriously.  Marriage isn't something casual for us.  I did get told to sit down and write MY ideals for a good spouse and a good life.  I will do this; it is good advice no matter what.  So if this happens to you, don't let it bog you down with resentment and tears and anger.  Most of the people saying it are only concerned for your welfare and your happiness.  You are something they care about and they don't want to see you hurt.  However, take what they say to mind, examine it, and come out with your own truth.  If you make each other want to be better people and that person is your idea of love, then don't doubt it because one,or even many voices have been asking: "what's the hurry?"