Bay-Don't-Watch

I grew up watching Baywatch. I loved it!! It's probably why I loved the ocean and wanted to be a marine biologist (for a while...before I found out science and my brain just didn't mesh) without ever setting foot near an ocean.

I movie reboot was just crass. It had a ton of foul language, unnecessary nudity, a dick (balls and all) getting stuck SIDEWAYS in a chair, and slow-mo run focusing on girl and boy parts slow-mo bouncing.  Now, I now, Bay Watch is known for it's slow-mo running, this was just unnecessary slow-mo. There were some funny parts. Watching Ronnie dance as a distraction was pretty hilarious. The story line was not all that bad, actually. They had a crime and murders to solve. I was confused, because it made it seem like Ronnie and Dave were really good friends. Then it switches over to they were just old co-workers. I don't know about you, but I don't just call up my old co-workers to meet me at the beach, let alone would I ask them for assistance if my private parts got stuck in something.


Overall, it was a waste of time. Zac Efron's abs couldn't even save it. I did like when the Rock referred to Zac's character as "High School musical."  Plenty of spoof moments sprinkled throughout.