Strike One

These Thirsty Thursday's have gotten difficult. When I started, it was a way to keep me accountable to my goals of not being a hermit/recluse, searching for love and meaning, and getting fit. I added the spiritual element recently as my walk with God has grown. It's also great to keep me accountable with my faith so that I can continue to draw close to the very One who grants my each and every breath.

Physical: I've seen a steady gain of weight in my life. I think it is related to stress and stress eating. I'm still not getting enough sleep either. I feel like there are so many things to do and not enough time. I know good sleep is essential to a healthy life and getting fit.

I started back up with My Fitness Pal. I was finally able to sink it with my Fit Bit. Last week, I saw the scale dip from 168 to 163! I account this mainly to my cycle ending. When I hopped on the scale tonight, it was at 166. That's still down from 168!  Last week, I was only tracking my eating and doing my regular walking routine with the dogs. This week I started up with 21 Day Fix Extreme. I've wanted to just skip it, but I've stuck with it. Tomorrow is cardio though, my least favorite day!

I also have my first physical in 4 years scheduled. Things like lack of insurance have kept me from staying with regular check-ups. I think I will need to get my thyroid checked when I go. I've had some weird struggles with working out and gaining weight. I also seem to be tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. I just want to get back to healthy again.

Relationships: Well, my marriage tanked. Not that I wanted it to. When it was me, sitting alone in the courtroom last December, I cried. When they asked me if I though our marriage was "irrevocably damaged," I said no. I love and care for my ex deeply. He screwed up; he is screwed up. I think a lot of it stems from his inability to express emotions. I think they scare him; especially the big, messy emotions. He copes with poor choices, anger, and pushing people away. I miss him terribly, but I know he needs the work of God in his life.  I know God is the only one that can bring about that miracle change; where He swaps out our old, ugly, hurting, hard heart for a "heart of flesh." That's my heart's prayer, every day.

I have tried going out a few times. It seems it was a strike out though. I asked a guy from work about the situation. I was like, is this one of those, "he's just not that into you" things or do you think he's scared of being a rebound guy. My co-worked was no help. He was like: "could be he's shy, could be he's just not that into you. You may have to make that first move." Well, since I was already the one that worked up the courage to ask this acquaintance out 2 times, I'm thinking I'm over it. After we'd spend time together, he just wouldn't talk to me...for weeks. And we see each other pretty regularly in passing. Oh well. This is not the end. I shall carry on.

I also am back in my beloved book club!!  I love my book club ladies! It is so much fun just to get together once a month to talk books and life. It also turns one of my solitary hobbies into a social one! Win-Win.

Career:  I'm working towards my dreams. I already have an idea for a B&B called "The Pineapple House." I am in love with this idea already. Dreams are dreams, but I need to start really laying out some goals to start moving towards this goal. I also want to go back to school for counseling. I get so bogged down between work, dogs, commute, working out! I need to just do it one of these days. Sign up and go for it!

Spiritual: God is amazingly gracious. I know I screw up everyday. And like most people, I struggle with my ego and pride. I am so grateful that each day is knew and that God is guiding me along the path to sanctification! I'm in a new D-Group. We know call them "huddle groups" because they are much smaller in size. I enjoy my small group of girls. We've all seen some big challenges in life, so we can bolster each other through the tough times. Praise God for bringing these strong ladies into my life. We are starting a new study soon and I am very eager to see what nuggets of wisdom God has tucked away in the study for us.

Well, it's almost my bed time and I need to get to bed so I can get as close to 7 hours of sleep as I possibly can! Gotta wake up and get that cardio done ✓!