Strike One

These Thirsty Thursday's have gotten difficult. When I started, it was a way to keep me accountable to my goals of not being a hermit/recluse, searching for love and meaning, and getting fit. I added the spiritual element recently as my walk with God has grown. It's also great to keep me accountable with my faith so that I can continue to draw close to the very One who grants my each and every breath.

Physical: I've seen a steady gain of weight in my life. I think it is related to stress and stress eating. I'm still not getting enough sleep either. I feel like there are so many things to do and not enough time. I know good sleep is essential to a healthy life and getting fit.

I started back up with My Fitness Pal. I was finally able to sink it with my Fit Bit. Last week, I saw the scale dip from 168 to 163! I account this mainly to my cycle ending. When I hopped on the scale tonight, it was at 166. That's still down from 168!  Last week, I was only tracking my eating and doing my regular walking routine with the dogs. This week I started up with 21 Day Fix Extreme. I've wanted to just skip it, but I've stuck with it. Tomorrow is cardio though, my least favorite day!

I also have my first physical in 4 years scheduled. Things like lack of insurance have kept me from staying with regular check-ups. I think I will need to get my thyroid checked when I go. I've had some weird struggles with working out and gaining weight. I also seem to be tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. I just want to get back to healthy again.

Relationships: Well, my marriage tanked. Not that I wanted it to. When it was me, sitting alone in the courtroom last December, I cried. When they asked me if I though our marriage was "irrevocably damaged," I said no. I love and care for my ex deeply. He screwed up; he is screwed up. I think a lot of it stems from his inability to express emotions. I think they scare him; especially the big, messy emotions. He copes with poor choices, anger, and pushing people away. I miss him terribly, but I know he needs the work of God in his life.  I know God is the only one that can bring about that miracle change; where He swaps out our old, ugly, hurting, hard heart for a "heart of flesh." That's my heart's prayer, every day.

I have tried going out a few times. It seems it was a strike out though. I asked a guy from work about the situation. I was like, is this one of those, "he's just not that into you" things or do you think he's scared of being a rebound guy. My co-worked was no help. He was like: "could be he's shy, could be he's just not that into you. You may have to make that first move." Well, since I was already the one that worked up the courage to ask this acquaintance out 2 times, I'm thinking I'm over it. After we'd spend time together, he just wouldn't talk to me...for weeks. And we see each other pretty regularly in passing. Oh well. This is not the end. I shall carry on.

I also am back in my beloved book club!!  I love my book club ladies! It is so much fun just to get together once a month to talk books and life. It also turns one of my solitary hobbies into a social one! Win-Win.

Career:  I'm working towards my dreams. I already have an idea for a B&B called "The Pineapple House." I am in love with this idea already. Dreams are dreams, but I need to start really laying out some goals to start moving towards this goal. I also want to go back to school for counseling. I get so bogged down between work, dogs, commute, working out! I need to just do it one of these days. Sign up and go for it!

Spiritual: God is amazingly gracious. I know I screw up everyday. And like most people, I struggle with my ego and pride. I am so grateful that each day is knew and that God is guiding me along the path to sanctification! I'm in a new D-Group. We know call them "huddle groups" because they are much smaller in size. I enjoy my small group of girls. We've all seen some big challenges in life, so we can bolster each other through the tough times. Praise God for bringing these strong ladies into my life. We are starting a new study soon and I am very eager to see what nuggets of wisdom God has tucked away in the study for us.

Well, it's almost my bed time and I need to get to bed so I can get as close to 7 hours of sleep as I possibly can! Gotta wake up and get that cardio done ✓!

I Still Do

Hello!
So I seriously had one of those weeks last week, where every thing seemed to go wrong. Saturday though, changed it all.  It was an amazing day.  It was my birthday and I spent it at the I Still Do event that my church, Real Hope, had on simulcast.  It was exactly what I needed.  I left feeling recharged, positive, hopeful, and more in love then ever before.  My husband wasn't able to attend with me since he's still in Puerto Rico; however, I just bought the digital pass so he can view it when he wants.  I can honestly say that the event was totally worth it.  I bought a couple books too; but, like that would be a huge shock to anyone.  It was so worth the 8 hours spent, mostly listening to speakers talk about marriage and commitment and the Biblical truths about the two.  I highly recommend any and every married couple attend one of these events.  Best thing watched in the longest time and it was just what I needed.  God spoke several truths to my heart and I'll cherish that day forever.

Combat the Negativity

I've been seeing quite a bit of negative self-talk in my Facebook news feed lately. We all struggle with those voices that try and say we aren't good enough. If you are struggling today, or not (you tend to know the negative things that get drug up to the surface when you are struggling) take a second to write down a positive that counter-acts the negative.
Here are some of mine:
I am beautiful; inside and out.
I am love and loved....
I am powerful.
I am smart.
I am worthy of all good things.
I am strong enough to face all challenges; trials only make me stronger.
I am kind.
I am brave.
I am calm and serene in all situations.
I will boldly pursue a life of love, learning, growing, exploring, and adventure.

I hope this helps you out a bit. You can fight back against those negative voices. Drown them out with your positive ones

Health:  I had a pretty bad week eating wise.  I went balls-to-the walls crazy. I ate like a crazy person; I ate vanilla sandwich cookies with nutella! I had a bagel for dinner, with meat loaf, and peas.  It was just off the wall.  But today, I've really focused on eating clean again; I rented a book of Paleo recipes to get me focused.  And when a craving for chocolate hit, tonight I made myself a second shake.  Guilt-free superfoods to the rescue!  I've also started a new dance program and I'm loving it!  I get so sweaty and love every second on the program.

Relationships: Still smiling like a silly, love-sick girl.  I love my husband so much and I can't imagine going through this life with anyone else by my side.

Career:  I've had a lot of interviews lately.  And I'm really excited about a lot of them.  I hope I hear from them real soon.  I'm probably going to have to make myself a pros/cons list of all the jobs to help me decide which one I'd love the most.

A Triumph for Love

Sometimes I don't know what is up with the world.  Today is Jackie Robinson day and the day my very first niece may come into the world; oh, wait, don't forget to make it tax day and add a bombing at the Boston Marathon!  Seriously?  As if the tax day wasn't enough!  I seriously wish the world could just take a chill pill.  It isn't really my personality, so I guess it don't come close to understanding, but how can there be people in the world that are just filled with so much hate?  Hate, hate, hate - I hate hate. It is good to get angry from time to time; then you let it go/work through it.  I rather remember this day as a day that love and compassion triumphed over hate, anger, and ignorance.  Love to those of Boston, especially the those that lost someone or a part of themselves.  Help these people to have the love around them to rise above the hate that was shown them.