Toxicity

Some people should come with toxicity labels. Life would be so much easier if people did. I know we'd all be toxic, because we're all sinful and have fallen short of the glory of God, but there are those selfish people who will take from you and blame you when there is nothing left in you to take. Oh, the pain I could have been spared and the years I wouldn't have wasted.
I had someone come back in my life, declaring peace. The very next morning I'm being accused of screen shots of sending photos of other people to random people I don't know. It was like the time the person had told me they sent me a card by mail and I should have it the next day; but I didn't do what they wanted me to do 5 minutes later (it was close to midnight on a Saturday) and all the sudden they'd gotten the card back from the post office. Laughable. The stories don't line up. And that person got sick of me calling them on it.

These accusations got passed through a second person. I asked to see the screen shots of what I'm sending, so that if someone has hacked an account or created a false one with my information, I can take steps to protect myself. I then got called a selfish person for wanting that information. Even though that person also saw how there was no way I could know the person I had apparently sent the pictures too. It also didn't make sense how the person accusing me through this second person could have gotten screen shots from this other person, as the original/actual accuser isn't supposed to have contact with that person. *CONVOLUTED B.S.*  Did I suddenly revert to middle school? "He said, she said, that if he asked, she like, wouldn't mind and maybe if he likes her, she might like him. So you go tell him that."

I do not want to be a part of your drama! I am working on making my life better. And this person has recently found out that my life was taking an up turn. And bam, guess who turned up. After getting  all these accusations, I wrote a message back stating: "You stated you came in peace and you snuck in like the enemy. The only thing in life I've been stupid about is trusting you. No more. I'm closing the door on you." It felt so good and free-ing. I also deleted the person who passed along the accusation. If you're going to accuse someone and say there is proof you have, don't deny showing that proof. Or how about you don't be a pawn in the ridiculous game.

It's actually disgusting how many women I know are in/were in toxic relationships. Someone getting upset and freaking out on you because you said how you felt; it's not right. You should not have to walk on egg shells around your partner all the time. I'm not saying, you shouldn't be considerate of their feelings, but you shouldn't be worried about having all your things thrown out the front door and told you're pathetic and useless because the wind caught the door and it slammed shut.

I don't know, but maybe this is what healing feels like; to finally say, I may love you, but it isn't worth destroying my life or peace for you to never have peace or happiness. If you have a toxic person in your life, it is hard to loosen their grip on your life, especially if it's been years; but please, seek help. Contact me, I'll help you get help. Living hurting, afraid, or anxious because of someone else is no way to live your life.

If this image speaks to you at all, then it's time to start cutting ties to the person that makes you feel this way. I used to pass this every month on my way home from paying our utility bills. I felt a clench in my gut because I knew this was exactly how I felt; but I loved the person so much. I didn't want to let go. I kept thinking things could get better. They never did. One day, the stream of hate from the person was so intense I actually started dry heaving. Their response: oh, you're going to try to fake puke to try to make me feel a little worse about myself; well I won't.