Just Say NO AA

I am so tired tonight.  I did a lot of heavy lifting and moving around today; after I already got in an hour of yoga before work.  So please forgive me if my sleepy grammar decline creeps in to this post. 

Tonight, after work, I was on a mission to find an airline that will ship my dogs.  There is only one choice for getting them out of Puerto Rico and it isn't cheap.  For my two dogs, it's about the equivalent of shipping all my stuff back home.  It's crazy. 

Not surprisingly, I'm not happy at all with what I found out at American Airlines.  After having them kick my husband (at the time, fiance) off a flight, because they overbooked, and screwing up our pre-wedding schedule (thanks for the extra fee of rushing our marriage lisence).  They also were completely rude when I called them to try and figure our what hotel they put him in over night.  Then I found out, they made him SHARE A ROOM WITH ANOTHER FEMALE passenger that had also been booted from the flight (for the same reason).  Like seriously American Airlines?  You overbook your flights, kick people off flights, then make them share a room with a stranger?!?  On top of that, you are going to add breed restrictions to the pets that you will ship!  My pitbulls are probably nicer than a large percentage of the USA.  Please, my boys are good.  And I plan on giving them valerian before they fly so they are calm and pretty much passed out the entire flight.  My deaf pit bull would probably sleep without any valerian and be fine; however, I'd like to get both of them here in a calm, peaceful state so they don't associate being here with any possible trauma or stress they may have experienced in flight.

So yes, another negative to American Airlines. I will never, ever, ever fly their airline ever.  Just no.

New Start

I am super excited to annouce that I have been employed!!! It's also part of the reason that I have not been blogging recently.  I've been trying to get into the swing of a new schedule and waking up by 5am is still a challenge.  Therefore, a lot of stuff has been pushed to the evening hours; I swear that the hours of 7-10 go by in a flash!

I am now working at Herbsmith. I'm super excited about this company.  It combines a lot of my interests: dogs, healthy living, and medicinal alternatives.  Some of these herbal blends I've already suggested to friends and family, because how amazing is it that these healing alternatives exist - and they cost about a $1 to use!  I don't know about you, but I'd spend a dollar a day to keep my dogs well and living into ripe old age. The work has been different and exciting every day; yesterday and today I was allowed to do science B)  I really enjoy who I work with and what I do.  There are days when work is done before I realize it.  I'm excited to get my dogs on some good foods and herbs! I just need to get them here first...hopefully soon.  I miss my little family.  If only I could get them and my husband here at the same time!

Loaded Gun Complex, Cock it and Pull it

I started listening to the audiobook version of Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith while driving back and forth to interviews.  It's really enlightening to some of the things that we subconsciously do because something in our environment triggers a reaction in us.  A few key phrases that have stood out from the book, so far, have been: "changing a habit can be simple, but simple does not mean easy," and "Fairy tales end with 'and they lived happily ever-after' - that's why it's called a fairy tale and not a documentary." (*Please note these aren't direct quotes from the book, just the rough out-line of what I heard and took away from passages*).  And if you've read any of my blog before, you know my writing skills, grammar, and spelling just go out the window when I'm tired.  I've been going from interview to interview and I'm hoping it will soon pay off and I can have a good job (or 2, or 3, or 4).  Anyways, that side-track was because I'm not going to be able to review this book very well in my current state; plus, I'm not finished yet!  I'd highly recommend checking if your library has this in print or on audio.  It's been eye-opening to some behavior things and ways to become more aware of what is happening around you that triggers an internal reaction.

Not Into It

I've been a little overwhelmed lately.  I've sent out hundreds of resumes, had a few call-backs and interviews.  I have two more tomorrow and another on Wednesday.  Heck, I may even come home tomorrow and apply for a few more positions.  There's a lot of other decisions rolling around in my head (car, home), as well as, trying to decide the pros and cons of different positions.  Some are irregular hours, some regular, a commute, a commute I could make with my mother, benefits, no benefits, some benefits, etc.  It's a big decision and I want to get settled as soon as possible.  These in-between transition times are weird.  I'm going to keep applying like crazy until I hear something.

I haven't really watched much tv.  I watched the tail end of He's Just Not That Into You. I'm too tired to continue on about a movie. It's a cute movie.  That's all you need to know.

Goodnight!

Combat the Negativity

I've been seeing quite a bit of negative self-talk in my Facebook news feed lately. We all struggle with those voices that try and say we aren't good enough. If you are struggling today, or not (you tend to know the negative things that get drug up to the surface when you are struggling) take a second to write down a positive that counter-acts the negative.
Here are some of mine:
I am beautiful; inside and out.
I am love and loved....
I am powerful.
I am smart.
I am worthy of all good things.
I am strong enough to face all challenges; trials only make me stronger.
I am kind.
I am brave.
I am calm and serene in all situations.
I will boldly pursue a life of love, learning, growing, exploring, and adventure.

I hope this helps you out a bit. You can fight back against those negative voices. Drown them out with your positive ones

Health:  I had a pretty bad week eating wise.  I went balls-to-the walls crazy. I ate like a crazy person; I ate vanilla sandwich cookies with nutella! I had a bagel for dinner, with meat loaf, and peas.  It was just off the wall.  But today, I've really focused on eating clean again; I rented a book of Paleo recipes to get me focused.  And when a craving for chocolate hit, tonight I made myself a second shake.  Guilt-free superfoods to the rescue!  I've also started a new dance program and I'm loving it!  I get so sweaty and love every second on the program.

Relationships: Still smiling like a silly, love-sick girl.  I love my husband so much and I can't imagine going through this life with anyone else by my side.

Career:  I've had a lot of interviews lately.  And I'm really excited about a lot of them.  I hope I hear from them real soon.  I'm probably going to have to make myself a pros/cons list of all the jobs to help me decide which one I'd love the most.

Busy, Happy, Busy

Wow.  The last couple of days have gotten away from me and I was in bed before I realized that I hadn't blogged at all.

So Monday, my friends invited me over for "Kid Day."  It was the best thing to ever be invented!  We played toilet brush hockey, slip'n'slide, twister, lava tag, and Pirate's dice.  I will admit, there was a ton of crap food and I indulged.  There were tater tots, corn dogs, fruit gushers, dirt cups, Doritos; I did it all.  I'm not really proud of the way I ate (and I'm pretty sure it made me full on open to the binge I had yesterday) and I never want to eat that way again.  It's not that I'm really ashamed or that it was bad; I just know that those foods aren't good for my body.  And after knowing a lot of additives and fake sugars have effects on the brain; I don't want to risk it.  I want my body and mind to both last me through many years of adventure... so I can still play twister when I'm 65 :)  You know I'll be trying it. After I got home, I passed out on the couch.  I woke up in enough time to watch Honey, I Shrunk the Kids with my sister. Then, I passed out again!

Yesterday, I had one of my first interviews.  I'm kind of glad I had this intimidating interview to start.  It lasted 5 minutes, the interviewer read off a list of questions, and said: "we'll be in touch."  That pretty much motivated me to go out and apply like crazy.  And that I have. I have spend at least 6 hours these last two days just looking at job listings and applying.  When I talked to my husband last night, we talked over the interview questions.  I felt a whole lot more confident about answering any questions that might come up in an interview.  I had been really excited to talk to my husband; he'd been sick all weekend with the flu and spent most of his time in bed sleeping; so there wasn't really a time we could connect.  So it was so amazing to finally have a nice long talk. So amazing :)

Today, I had a nice long "to-do" list.  I managed to get some Cize time in before having to leave for my interview.  It was probably the best decision I made.  I got pumped and confident; I just felt great overall. I had a great interview with some amazing people.  It was less intimidating than the 5 minute interview I had; and I was there for about an hour.  It was just so easy to talk to these people.  I came home, applied for some more job for about 3 hours. 

So see, I don't have it all together all the time.  I occasionally have massive weak moments where I eat sandwich cookies covered with nutella and giant chocolate bars.  But every day that I wake up; I hope to be a little better than I was yesterday.  I hope to make better decisions about food and an active lifestyle every day.  I want a brain to keep on learning for as long as my body will last, God willing.

I'm excited that starting next week, there is a coaching preview.  If you are interested in what I do as a coach, let me know. There's a group starting that gives you insight into how coaching can change your life for the better. Comment with your email and I'll get you set up to see how coaching can start changing your life and the lives of those around you.

Far From the Maddening Movie Crowd

I LOVE FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD...the book, by Thomas Hardy.  I really, really love that book. It's not really the story that I love so much (I mean, it's a good story), but I love the beautiful descriptions that Thomas Hardy weaves into the story.  I still vividly remember the description he gave of Fanny's grave and the way the water from the gargoyle dripped on it (it's been several years, so hopefully I didn't make that all up in my mind).  It's so weird, I never really liked Tess of the D'Urbervilles, which is also by Thomas Hardy.

Anyways, I'll stop waxing poetic about Thomas Hardy and the book version of Far From the Madding Crowd.  I just finished watching the movie. And I quite enjoyed it.  I did feel that it tried pulling a "Pride and Prejudice" moment at one point (it was a good scene in the recent Pride and Prejudice, so why not try it here, right). I went in determined to be disappointed and came up surprisingly happy with the film.  Carey Mulligan and Matthias Schoenaerts did a really good job as Bathsheba and Gabriel. 



"Pride and Prejudice" moment

The movie is about Farmer Oak and Bathsheba Everdene.  They both have changes in station, wealth, and position throughout their lives.  They learn how to navigate farming, living, and loving.  I really don't want to give away too much about the story.  It's an amazing storyline that has twists and turns and ups and downs.  The movie is great, but as I said, nothing compares to the amazing descriptions that Thomas Hardy has in the novel.

A Muddy Path Chosen

Health: I'm beginning to realize that I am not my enemy.  I can become my own best friend, confidant, and ally. I need to stop beating myself up and saying horrible things about myself. All I have to do is keep moving forward and being better than I was the day before.  This is all a process. One day at a time.  I can't expect everything to work out in a few hours or even days.  I can change my mindset and go for the things that I want most in this world.

Relationships: I had a really awkward time this last weekend; but I stood up for myself and my
boundaries.  I'm really hoping that this relationship isn't damaged for good, but I will not let someone else think they can berate me into doing what they want me to do.  This is my life, and I will make my own decisions. They may be bad, they may be good; but they will be my own. Like tonight, I thought I'd walk back not on the path, but in the creek.  Looked nice and shallow and refreshing; until I sank up to my knees in mud.  I pulled myself out, walked back to the path, and walked home barefoot and just as happy as if I hadn't stepped in the mud.  You can make your decisions; I will respect that; however, when you start throwing your baggage onto me and adding more negative talk to my brain that is already filled to the brim, you aren't doing anything but pushing me right back down the hole I'm trying to get out of. I love you greatly, but I'm not going back into that hole.   

Career:  I'm still staying hopeful.  I can do this and I will. No one can hold me back but me!

I'll leave you with this ;) Don't ever let anyone hold you back, least of all yourself.

Self-Talk

So my head has been full of a lot of negative self-talk...for a while.  So instead of using "Say What? Wednesday" to rant, I'm going to try and use words to build up as much as possible.

My own mind is full of a lot of negative self-talk.  I'm not good enough.  I'm so stupid. I can't take care of myself.  I'm not worthy enough to be loved. It's all my fault.  Etc.

I included affirmations on my motivation calendars

I've been trying to turn this negative self-talk around with affirmations.  I really liked the fist mudra I posted about yesterday and the affirmation that came with it: "I am calm and serene in every situation." Other affirmations I'm working on are: "I am powerful." "I am love and loved." "I am intelligent." "I am good enough." "I am taken care of." I haven't done too much with the affirmations yet, but I have noticed how much better I feel, even if I just say: "I am calm and serene in every situation." I think this is a valuable method of fighting the plague of negative self-talk that I've had (and I'm sure everyone has experienced it) since I was a teenager. In order to stop the negative, I have to make it a habit to combat negative thoughts with positive ones; EACH AND EVERY TIME! Consistency is key.  And if my thoughts can make me feel like crap, they can also make me feel FANTASTIC!

Aggressive Bacon

So I started reading that book on mudras and I quick checked out the mudra for dealing with aggression. It was interesting to read "[m]ost aggression is based on not being able to say 'no,' not being able to set boundaries, letting oneself be driven into a corner, etc. The basic evil is fear (Mudras: Yoga in your Hands, 82)." To relieve this tension and the build up of aggression, you can make a mudra of a fist (Mushti Mudra). You make a fist; curling in your fingers in and place your thumb on your ring finger.  Make the mudra with both hands, sit comfortably, consciously breath in and out, and repeat this affirmation: "I am quite and serene in every situation." Hold this mudra and affirmation for as long as needed or up to three times a day for 15 minutes.
When I tested this mudra, I was amazed.  I felt tension leave my body, my breath even out, and I began to feel positive again.  I know I should incorporate this one into my daily practice as I have been topsy-turvied and feel like I have no boundaries and am incapable of making decisions on my own without other trying to change my mind. I've always like mudras and I'm excited to see what more I can learn and discover about myself through reading this book and practicing.

Another thing I tested this week was bacon. Yes, that delicious, better than anything on the planet, substance. I found uncured bacon the other day at Aldi and I just had to give it a shot.  It had just 5 ingredients (which means it's clean eating approved) and it's uncured. I've never really been a fan of turkey bacon, what seems to always be suggested in place of regular bacon.  It's not because of taste, texture, etc; more the fact that it's almost more processed that bacon. And isn't that the whole reason we're trying to take it out of our diet - high process meat with lots of additives.  This bacon is made of: pork, water, sea salt, evaporated cane sugar, and celery powder. 
Anyways, the bacon was glorious; just look.