Pineapple Living

Physical: Working on the 30 days of yoga. I've been stealing away on my breaks to a meeting room and working through some Sun Salutations. I've been so busy this week, literally, every night this week had something going on and I've got a baseball game tomorrow night too! I haven't been walking as much as normal this week, and my workout aren't as intense as the 21 Day Fix ones, and so my calorie intake is off this week. It's still under what I'm burning for the day, but not as high of a deficit as I'd like. I'm not going to stress about it though.

Relationships: I am so blessed with amazing friends! I don't have a large group or people that I'm just always with in every spare moment. But we get together regularly to enjoy each other's company. I got to meet up with Meep and her hubby at State Fair, D-Group 2x this week, book club, and a baseball game tomorrow with one of my bffs from high school.

Career: I need to pull the trigger on schooling here soon. I am scared to death of failure. I am scared to death I won't have the time. I barely feel like I have the time for life as it is right now. God will provide the way.

Spiritual: This week I've been smacked upside the head with several sermons. The one from my home church, titled, Drink Deeply, was a message that my heart needed to hear this last weekend. Jesus himself drank from the bitter cup that ruined his life and caused it's demise. He faced that because it was the Father's will and His purpose. Exodus 15:22-27 references the bitter water that the Israelites found in the desert. God was the way to change those bitter waters into sweet water. Amen that He does that for us when we look to Him for our satisfaction and source of living water.

Unlocking the Bible this week has been just a wealth of conviction and joy. Monday started with "The Heart Wants What it Wants" and was followed by "Children of Wrath." I am prone to falling into thoughts of, I'm not that bad of a person. I've not done anything really wrong in my life; I'm a rule follower...most of the time. :) The list of sins that the heart is prone to smacked me right in the face as I went, "ugh, oh, yeah, I've got that one..umm, ok, I'm a horrible person." But the amazing thing is,  I have Jesus pulling for me and the Holy Spirit working on sanctifying me.

I went to our large group bible study tonight and we made painted signs. Of course, I made a pineapple. I wrote "Be Fruity" and wrote the reference to the fruits of the spirit. The fruits of the spirit are exact opposites to the list of sinful desires of the heart. I crave pineapple about as much as my soul longs to be better. So the sign will be a good reminder.

30 Days of Yoga

I am on day 3 of 30 Days of Yoga. I haven't really felt any changes in my body, but I can feel my body begin to meld back into the poses; like "ah, welcome home old friend, it's been a while." I really love yoga and the way it is both graceful and challenging. For me, the main challenge comes from within, my inner voice that says no. One of my favorite yoga shirts says: "Nothing stands in my way, but me." My mom hates the shirt, but that's because it once was a white shirt and now it is not so white any more.

The first night, I was very excited the my brother joined me for "Ripped: Yoga with Weights." His comment was, "this is like, actually hard." I asked him if he'd ever do yoga with me again, he said "maybe." That is huge coming from someone that has always said yoga was too easy for him to try. Day 2, I did bedtime yoga and restorative poses are always so amazing! I was zenned out and ready for bed! Today, I've managed to piece together a practice: A warm up and Sun As on break one, Sun B on break 2, after work and before book club, I got in the rest of my Sun Salutations. I'm going to do a few more poses before bed.

I think more importantly, than the physical, is the emotional transformation I'm hoping to have. I've heard a couple good sermons and I started a new Bible study this week. I want to fall in love, and who better to fall in love with than my Savior.  One of the quotes for the study, Finding I Am, really stood out to me today: "Those answers and the easing of that ache aren't the source of finally becoming fully satisfied. They aren't. And you believing this lie is a scheme of Satan to keep you in an unsatisfied place. I've been in an unsatisfied place for a long time now. I'm ready to turn to my Savior, Jesus, to fully satisfy.

Husband Hunt

Physical: I am skipping leg day today. I'll just push everything back. I went for extra long walks tonight and I'm already 400 less than my goal intake for the day. My body honestly needs sleep more than another workout right now.  Plus, I'm feeling pretty blue that for practically a month I have been eating a reduced calorie diet and working out...I'm sitting around a 3 lb weight loss.

My lab results had come back last Saturday. I specifically asked them to test for my thyroid function because I'm always tired and seem to gain weight when maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It is very frustrating. When my lab results came back, everything showed in normal range except Alkaline Phosphates. I googled, because of course, google has the answers.  It says reasons for low alkaline phosphates could be: malnutrition, liver issues, or hypothyroidism.  So I called up my doctor.  They said, oh, don't worry about it, everything else is fine. I think I better worry about something linked to poor liver function and malnutrition. My alkaline phosphates were at 16 and normal range was listed in the 30s. I think I may have to probe a little further to see what could be causing this lack of alkaline phosphates.

Relationships: I think I need to start a "Husband Hunt." I'm tired of being lonely. It would be so nice to come home to someone who'd give me a nice big hug and then share my burdens at the end of the day. I love coming home to my dogs; however, they are just big, lovable, completely dependent dogs that need me to care for them.  They need their walks, dinner, cuddles, medicine. It's a big responsibility, but I love them and I wouldn't trade them for any thing.

There are several couples in our neighborhood that walk together every night. Most of them hold hands and walk.  It is so cute.  I want that.

Career:  I started requesting information from Northwestern to take classes to get a Master's in Counseling. I'm nervous about it. I could get my Master's extending out over 12 semesters/6 years. I think 2 classes a semester could be doable. I wonder if I could do winter courses. I don't think I could do additional summer courses. We've been on mandatory overtime at work since mid-June and it will be going until the end of September. I think even adding one class to my plate over the summer months would be too much. We'll see what I decide. There is another online university that offers a Christian Counseling Master's; I want to look into that more too.

Spiritual: Some days, I just wish the Holy Spirit would just take over my body and handle some of this hard stuff for me. Like: "can you just take that pain away already? I'd like to be over it now," or "can you just tell me what I'm supposed to do here, that would be helpful?" I know the Holy Spirit cries out the prayer of my heart to my loving Jesus, even when my lips fail to have the words to pray. Thank you Holy Spirit for having my back.

Forgiveness

Physical: I just finished leg day and I am so exhausted. I didn't get up early and do it. So I cranked it out before bed. That, plus the melatonin, should knock me out. I have to say, I slept really well last night. I did wake up a few times, but only to change positions and fall back asleep. My bed looks so good right now.

I had my physical yesterday. It is good to keep on your health from all angles. Exercising, eating well more often than not, SLEEPING, and having regular checks.  It's always the healthy that you hear dying out of no where.

Relationships: My co-worker asked me if I'd consider Christian Mingle the other day. I heard that Christian Mingle is just a hook-up spot for "Christians." I don't know. I think I need to focus on me and what I need and what God's plan is for me. When I'm on the right path, I know I will get what I need. God won't hide it from me.

Career:  I got given a project to work on this week. It was amazing! Any time not having to be on the phone is some good time.

There have also been talks of home agents. I am hoping for this; it would add so much time to my day, not having to drive.  It also keeps me from having to drive during the winter and scary weather.

Spiritual: I heard an interesting sermon by Pastor Colin Smith with Unlocking the Bible. It's about forgiving people who don't repent. The point he states is that you don't have to forgive if the person doesn't repent. It has really made me think about forgiveness. I have some people in my life that are hard to forgive because they aren't repentant at all. His main point is that non-forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean anger/hate/bitterness. I like at the end, he says, if you even see someone on the horizon of repentant, run to meet them with love and forgiveness (like the father did for the prodigal son). There is a link to the sermon above. Give it a listen and see what you can glean from it. It's called "What God can't Forgive."

PS: My one big issue with it is how he states John the Baptist was preaching of repentance and about Jesus's birth. John the Baptist was only a few months older than Jesus.  We know this because Mary went to visit Elizabeth, John's mom. John the Baptist jumps in the womb when Mary enters (Luke 1:39-45)

Squat it like it's hot

It's a girl's prerogative to change her mind, right!  I already re-designed my dream home.  And I need to redesign it again.  I need to change some of the sizing up again.  I don't want a house this large.  And I know it can be condensed down further.  Plus, my dream home is like a hobbit home.  I want the outer walls to be made with recycled tires and heated floors! 

Physical: Last night I went to the gym and I hex squatted 100lbs (2 sets of 10)!  I also got 50 lunges (25 each leg), my lifting, and 2 planks lasting longer than a minute!  I am very excited to see myself progressing in that area.  My weight, still exactly the same!!!  In November/December, I tried Garnica Cambogia.  I gained 10lbs in the first week and I have yet to lose that weight.  I don't know if it was just my bodies reaction to that product or what, but I'm not to pleased about it!  I must fit into my size 8 dress for my friend's wedding in June.

Relationships: I have been meeting so many amazing people at work this week.  I am so happy to be around PEOPLE!  Yay.  Which leads me to... 

Career: I started my new position this Monday.  I have another 5 weeks of training to go.  This week has mostly been introduction to the company, our benefits, and filling out paperwork.  We are starting to learn some stuff about the position and our expectations.  I am a little nervous, but I know that God has led me to this position (after a year of applying and being turned down for because there were "more experienced candidates."  I still want to know HOW?!?!?  But this job I have now, is a million times better than many of the positions on which I got passed up.   

Spiritual: God is oh so good to me.  I have an amazing support group through my DGroup.  The study we are doing, Focus on the Family's The Truth Project, is beyond amazing.  Every time we have a meeting, it's like my eyes are opened to something new I had never thought of before.  It is astounding.

Dream Design

Today I spent way too much time designing my dream house on Smart Draw.  Now that I have it done, I love it a lot!  I don't know if it can actually work, but I am hoping it is structurally sound enough to be created into my home! It's bigger than I was thinking.  If it was just me, I'd simply have the garage and first floor.  If I want to adopt or foster later on or even have guests, it is nice to have the loft area.  I am like in love with this design though!  Can I have it already?!?!?

Garage underneath the house with cold storage off to the left.  You can see part of the main level just to get an idea of where it would be located in the house. 

Main Floor

Loft area for guests/kids.  Again, you can see part of the main floor too show where it is in relation to the rest of the house.

Physical: I am getting more physically fit without seeing so much change in my weight/shape.  I haven’t really checked my measurements in a while.  DIET!  I need to do it, not just think about it.

Relationships: Ugh, I still need to set something up for the book club. 

Career: Soon, soon, SOON!  I cannot wait.

Spiritual: I am holding onto His promises.  I don’t want to gain the whole world and not have Jesus.  I’m working on being satisfied in Him instead of my circumstances.

Embrace the Struggle

Ahh! I had this all written and just never ended up posting it last night. I was severely lacking motivation last night.  It took me HOURS to make it to the gym. 

Physical

I have been working out on the regular for about a month now.  I haven’t seen any changes with the scale, but I have had a non-scale victory of noticing my cardio/lung capacity increasing.  I was able to run for 6 minutes straight without taking a break (as of today, Friday, I ran for 15 minutes straight)! EXCITING!  In addition to hitting the gym about 5 days (or more) a week, blending weight lifting, yoga, and cardio, I have been taking the dogs on long bike rides.  The warm weather wave has made it amazing to get out and soak up the sun and blow off the dogs’ cabin fever and mine!  Vitamin D, not from a bottle!  Yay 😊

Relationships

I am working on changing my rather reclusive lifestyle to a little more social.  My dogs keep me pretty tied up.  I love them to death, but my life pretty much revolves around them.  I love cuddling and training and exercising with them.  They just aren’t human companionship.  I am posting on a local website to get a book club started up.  This will do double duty: making me be social sometimes and getting me back to reading on the regular. 

Career

I will be starting my new job SOON!  It is all in the works.  I can’t wait.  Mostly, because I just want the structure of having a job, I’ll be learning new systems, and to be able to pay off my debts!  That is the best part.  And then I can start saving for buying my own home 😊 I have been scoping out some land that is for sale and really decently priced.  Dreams, dreams, and more dreams have been filling my noggin.

Spiritual

I know that struggle brings endurance and character.  I also know that God is faithful; He will bring me through any storms or trials.  I can learn from these hard times and grow in His word and promises.  My God is a big God.  He is an amazing, incomprehensible God. 

Favorite Song(s) of the week:
I've been enjoying my workout/yoga playlist.  Some of my favorite, that help me push through, are Bitch I'm Madonna by Madonna and Yoga by Janelle Monae.  They just get my blood pumping!


Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
May we not turn away from the struggle of the cocoon. - The Truth Project

Me to vet: "Are betas toxic to dogs?  I think my fish jumped out of its tank and I haven't found the body.  I think my dog ate it.  He's pooped a lot this morning already."
Vet: "Not from what I have read, are they toxic to dogs."
Me: Ok.

*Two mornings later, fish swims to the top of the tank!


Favorite thing done this week:
Lots of walks and bike rides in the sun.
Nearly 70 degree weather in mid-February
Teaching lots of yoga

Favorite show/movie of week:
Fear thy Neighbor - very interesting and a little annoying. 

Favorite thing read:
The Donald Trump entry in the Cultural Intellectual Devotional book.
I've also been getting into my "Blind date with a book" book.

Favorite event:
Finding my fish in the tank!  (Seriously, I pulled the conch shell out of the vase and search the sea glass at the bottom and Mara, my fish, was no where to be found).  She just swam right to the top of the tank yesterday morning. 

Most inspired moment:
Feeling strong and fit. 
Raising my face to the sun.
Studying The Truth Project with my DGroup

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
There may be struggles in this life, but this is simply the changing stage.  We are being made new and changed into something beautiful.


Weirdest dream:
I can't even remember any of my dreams this week. 

Truth Time

Health: I am back up in weight.  160 again on the scale.  It is very disheartening.  This winter has been pretty darn cold and so I haven't been taking the dogs out so much.  I had to buy another headband wrap for my ears last night. That wasn't what I wanted, but it's all they had at the store and I was desperate. The night before my ears were ringing and aching, making it hard to sleep. My hats just seem to let the wind blow right through and into my ears.  Which then leads to me being sick and miserable and not wanting to take the dogs out for walks.  Trinity, when it's really cold, will do her business and book it back to the house.  It's cute, because it's how I feel about the cold.

Relationships: I'm still feeling pretty lonely.  I'm sure once I start my new job, I'll have lots of new friends and faces and I won't feel so lonely.  I probably won't mind alone time once my job comes around.  I am also thinking of starting up a book club again.  I miss it! 

Career:  I had a massive set back this last month.  I was supposed to start my new job on January 23, well now it's pushed back until March 6.  I am ridiculously bummed.  By March I was supposed to be getting health insurance and having my savings getting bolstered.  The hold-up was my background check from France.  It's honestly a piece of paper with a line through it.  Meaning I didn't do anything wrong and they blocked off the free space so nothing could be added in the blank space. The background check company responsible for finding all of my background information, I guess forgot to do the French one.  Until the company I am starting with reminded them.  Then they sent me a link to request my background check from France.  It was 19 days before I was to start training for my new job.  The request says it takes 2-3 weeks to process the request (if the form, in French, was properly filled out).  That was cutting it close!  Then, the French government doesn't email it, fax it, or overnight.  They slow posted from France.  The company gave me a few days extra (the orientation day and safety instruction days were ones I could make up at a later date, while the other training I could not); but alas, it arrived the following Monday.  I am trying not to be upset or want to sue the pants off the background company (at least for the pay for the 6 weeks of full-time work I would have had from January 23 to March 6). Now I have that background check fully submitted to the company, I retook my DOT drug screening on Tuesday, now I just need to start!

Spiritual: I joined a DGroup (discipleship group) in the Fall of 2015.  It was a great idea.  We've gone through several studies: Hebrews, Revelation, Esther, Ezra, and Nehemiah.  We are starting one now, called The Truth Project.  It's a DVD lesson/book discussion study and we've only covered one lesson so far.  I was blown away by some of the things.  I never thought of prayer as walking into God's throne room and Him leaning His ear towards me. (*Mind Blown*).  Another thing that was said that hit me in the feels was: our beliefs will dictate our feelings and actions, it is faith and hope that help us overcome
our feelings (fear, anger, sadness, loneliness, etc.).  If I believe that my Almighty God has me and knows all the plans HE has for my life, then why should I fear or be upset when something like a late background check keeps me from doing what I thought I should be.  There is a plan and a purpose to all.

Juggling Act

Lately, I have felt like my life has been a juggling act.  One performed by a very poor juggler.  I seem to find a rhythm and think things are going well and then BAM! All the balls come crashing down on my face.  I was supposed to start a new job last Monday, but the background check company didn't submit my French background check until to late; it arrived this Monday.  BAM.  My finances are a mess. BAM.  It always seems to be one thing after another with the dogs needing to see the vet. BAM.  Workout multiple times a week, yet gain 10 more pounds. BAM. I'm trying my best, but it never seems to be good enough.  I keep waking up every morning, just putting one foot in front of the other.  I know someday it will all make sense and get better.  Heck, I want to go back to school to be a life coach and counselor , so I guess I better know what it's like to be kicked down by life.  Even if the rest of my life is like this, I am secure in the promise that what is coming next is way better than this life.  God's got a plan, I just need to trust.  I will praise him for my trials and my successes.  All of them are making me a better person.
These pities are keeping me going and give me a good reason to keep waking up.  They give me a reason to smile and laugh every day.  I love them so much!