Say What...boys?!?

So "Say What" Wednesday is the day I get to talk about what ever I want to talk about.

Right now I have boys on my mind. I honestly think I need to get out of Wisconsin to find a decent man. My brother and his fiancee were telling me that I should go on Match.com to get a date. So last night I searched through the guys who were "similar" to me on Match.com. It was depressing to see the people that are in my area.

Not to mention that the other day while I was in Wal-Mart doing some shopping when I guy with his wife and child clearly watched me the whole time I was in the aisle...practically drooling. I know that Wal-Mart isn't the classiest of places, but really. When I was in high school and working at the library I would have father's openly stare at my chest while I was checking out Sesame Street books to his child. I guess the thing is, I really just do not have a single clue as to what is up with men. I get physical attraction and stuff, but really, that kind of behavior in front of your child and/or your wife.

So my two friends and I created a list of Dos and Don'ts of Dating in Wisconsin (we were pretty young and mostly inexperienced in anything other than being treated like crap by guys). So I'll give you a look into what our 19 year old minds came up with as Dos and Don'ts of Dating.

DON'TS

1. No D&D addicts incapable of socializing

2. No Pokemon, Magic, and other cult calling game addicts

3. No game addicts period!

4. No more than 5 yrs. younger (in acted once we turn 23-no cradle robbing) and no more than 10 yrs. older

5. All guys MUST be single

6. No one who has volunteered to be electrocuted

7. No small town cops

8. No guys from Jefferson and Watertown

9. No philosophy majors

10. No guys who can't/don't read

11. No guy that rearranges himself in public

12. No guy you can smell more than 2.5' away

13. No guys you meet online

14. No guys purposely single

15. No guys with bad hygiene

16. No guys from work or guys that you meet while working

17. No guys that say "come with me to my country and have my babies"

18. No guys who hit on you while you are working

19. No guys who look at you chest more than 5x during the process of a minute long conversation

20. No guys from LMHS

21. No guys still living with their parents unless a REALLY REALLY GOOD reason (e.g. still in school, cultural reasons, or parents need assistance)

22. No guys who like drama

23. No guys who like chick-flicks

24. No stalkers

25. No Facebook or MySpace stalkers

26. No guy who reminds you of a family member

27. No guy with long, unkempt hair (e.g. icky comb over mullet or any other combination of these words)

28. No guys who randomly stop talking to you for weeks/months at a time

29. No guy who has committed a sexual felony

30. No guy caught lying

31. No guys who disrespect their mothers but who aren't also momma's boys

32. No guys who tan or take longer than you to get ready

33. No guy who can't take sarcasm or laugh at themself

34. No guy who compares you or confuses you with another girl

35. No friends of brothers

36. No back hair and/or man boobs (esp. not ones bigger than yours)

37. No guys with meaningless tattoos (e.g. Packer helmet and turtle)

38. No super druggies/alcoholics

39. No guys whose sexuality you question

40. No guys with super creepy sex fetishes or who take them too far

41. No Emo/ unnaturally depressed guys

42. No guy who refuses to use protection

43. No guys with kids

44. No guys who yell at minimum wage clerks

45. No guys who over compensate

46. No guys into NASCAR or extreme hunters



DOS

1. Flowers or chocolate (candy bars, etc.) at least once a week-can alternate between the two. A bonus if he figures out you fav. and brings it to you

2. Guys who can cook

3. Guys who're independent ($ BABY)

4. Guys who think you're cute with no makeup and bad breath

5. Guys who don't automatically take sexual innuendos as cue for sex

6. Guys willing to watch/do something other than watch sports

7. Guys who order for you

8. Chivalrous

9. Guys with innovative date ideas

10. Guys who like to read

11. Guys who can take silence

12. Guys willing to ask for help

13. Guys who can keep a conversation going

14. Guys who'll make the first move

15. Must have completed high school and have goals

16. Guys who are indifferent or like your family

17. A guy who understands your need for beauty sleep

18. Guys that give good massages and that can crack your back

19. A guy who understands personal space issues

20. Guys with similar levels of PDA

21. A guy who can look good in both a Chip'n'Dale uniform and a suit

22. A guy with similar sleep schedules

23. A guy whose knowledge compliments yours

24. Guys with appealing body structure (nice ass, abs, and shoulders)

25. Guys with accents

26. Flexible is a plus :)

27. Ability to dance well (esp. salsa dancing)

28. Guys in uniforms a plus

I want to believe that there is a good man out there, but I'm really starting to doubt if I will ever get lucky enough to meet one.