Facebook Fast

So, a few years back, I had to go off social media for a while. I didn't hate it. It was actually quite nice.

Now, I'm doing it for me.  I have been just not going on Facebook, Monday through Friday. I've been doing it for close to a month now. I do not regret it. Giving up Facebook has allowed me time to workout and blog again!  How crazy is that!  The main reason I wanted to start giving up Facebook, was to spend less time watching other people live their lives, and spend more time living mine!

It was also less hard to give up than I thought it would be. Even the notifications I get, I just delete. The first week, it would send me notifications.  Then it started to get desperate, I was actually getting emails from Facebook: Did you see this comment on "so-and-so's" post? "This person" posted, did you see it? I was like, geeze, clingy much? I go on over my weekends, but I spend less time doing it that I was before the Monday-Friday fast.

Now, I just need to spend less time on Pinterest and Instagram! Lol.

Helter Skelter

I've got another 3 books all going at once: Longbourn, Legendary, and Ice Cream Queen (still, I know...I miss placed it for a week and found it wrapped up in my hammock!).  I haven't finished either yet, but I am enjoying them all. In fact, I want to get back to Legendary right now. I'm more than half done already. I'm off to rinse the day away and hope in bed with my doggos and read until I can't possibly keep my eyes open; which, now that I'm old only takes about 5 minutes!

No Time

I haven't watched a single thing this week. I may have caught glimpses of shows here and there, but I haven't even watched one 30 minute tv show. The only thing I can say I've watched all the way through all week is my 21 Day Fix Extreme workout videos. Which, I have to do my yoga one now. Then I'll have a little time to read my book before bed. It is one of those books where you wouldn't feel guilty staying in bed reading all day. The only thing you'd feel is sadness that the book had to end.

And I'm off to yoga and read.

Polar Bear Dreams and Cardio

Favorite Song(s) of the week:

Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
"You actually had a gyno say your downstairs area was 'juicy'? I think there are better synonyms for that."
"Do you ever get any pain when you work out?" "You mean other than the pain in my soul when I have to do cardio?" "I feel the same way about cardio!"

Favorite thing done this week:
Biking to the library to pick up my back.

Favorite show/movie of week:
Didn't really watch anything this week. I watched some Property Brothers and Fixer Upper. I love HGTV

Favorite thing read:
I finally got Legendary!!! I am so excited. I've only read a few pages so far, but I am probably going to spend too much time this weekend reading it.

Favorite event:
Finishing cardio

Most inspired moment:
Writing up a description for the fund raiser I want to start...hopefully this weekend. I've been playing with the idea of it for years now, but the time feels right now.

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
If I had any, they have all slipped my sleepy mind at this point. 

Weirdest dream: So I have had several this week. The strangest and funniest involved my dogs and what I do every day...walk them!  So I was walking down this road near my home, and where the actually is a sub-station, there was a lake. My dogs weren't on a lead. As we were walking by this, some panic arose and people started running about. There was a polar bear coming up and out of the semi-frozen lake by the road. I, also panicked, and began herding my dogs away from the lake. My two biggest, boy dogs, all scramble away with me.  My little Trinity Mae, with sass for days, walks up to the polar bear that just climbed up on to the land. She has her teeth bared and is snapping her jaws at it (like she does to her dad and uncle when they are play fighting). I quick went back and got her...how, I'm not entirely sure. 
I think the dream stemmed from the fact that I put her out on her dad's lead by his dog house and had her dad in the garage instead. She literally chewed through the cable (one set to hold a 150 lb dog...and she is 60lbs) and ran into the garage and curled up in the kennel. 

Forgiveness

Physical: I just finished leg day and I am so exhausted. I didn't get up early and do it. So I cranked it out before bed. That, plus the melatonin, should knock me out. I have to say, I slept really well last night. I did wake up a few times, but only to change positions and fall back asleep. My bed looks so good right now.

I had my physical yesterday. It is good to keep on your health from all angles. Exercising, eating well more often than not, SLEEPING, and having regular checks.  It's always the healthy that you hear dying out of no where.

Relationships: My co-worker asked me if I'd consider Christian Mingle the other day. I heard that Christian Mingle is just a hook-up spot for "Christians." I don't know. I think I need to focus on me and what I need and what God's plan is for me. When I'm on the right path, I know I will get what I need. God won't hide it from me.

Career:  I got given a project to work on this week. It was amazing! Any time not having to be on the phone is some good time.

There have also been talks of home agents. I am hoping for this; it would add so much time to my day, not having to drive.  It also keeps me from having to drive during the winter and scary weather.

Spiritual: I heard an interesting sermon by Pastor Colin Smith with Unlocking the Bible. It's about forgiving people who don't repent. The point he states is that you don't have to forgive if the person doesn't repent. It has really made me think about forgiveness. I have some people in my life that are hard to forgive because they aren't repentant at all. His main point is that non-forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean anger/hate/bitterness. I like at the end, he says, if you even see someone on the horizon of repentant, run to meet them with love and forgiveness (like the father did for the prodigal son). There is a link to the sermon above. Give it a listen and see what you can glean from it. It's called "What God can't Forgive."

PS: My one big issue with it is how he states John the Baptist was preaching of repentance and about Jesus's birth. John the Baptist was only a few months older than Jesus.  We know this because Mary went to visit Elizabeth, John's mom. John the Baptist jumps in the womb when Mary enters (Luke 1:39-45)

Fear of the White Coat

I actually don't fear doctors.  I do tend to fear if they are going to actually be treating me with me in mind, or the insurance and pharmaceutical industry in mind.  Anyways, I had my first full physical since 2014 today. I don't recommend you go that long between physicals.

Luckily, everything turned out great in my labs.  For a while, I've been worried my thyroid could be off. I'm almost always tired and I can't seem to shake this excess weight, no matter how hard I work out.  I guess I'm glad that everything is fine, I just wish this weight would have a reason for sticking to me like glue.  I've been using my fitness pal to keep track of my food intake and keep me accountable.

Also, sleep is a huge component of health.  I never seem to get enough anymore.  Maybe it's because almost every night is a dream about my ex or the fact that I can't stop scenarios playing out in my mind. Anyways, I was told to try melatonin.  Walgreens was having their buy one get one free sale; I'm set for 4 months now. Hopefully this will help. Speaking of sleep...I'm going to go get some zzzzz

Hole Lotta Love

Before

I seriously have to love my little princess to still let her in the house.  She loves being under the covers and she chews when she's stressed.  Her favorite thing to chew on, other than me and the other dogs, is the blankets. I can only assume that she then tries to crawl into the holes she's made in the blankets, like she's making a nest or burrow. My newest blanket, that I bought last October, she managed to rip this giant hole into it. I finally took the time to try to fix it.

I had to take out the ripped stuffing and patch in a new piece of batting.  I then tried using stitch-witchery to hold the torn edges together. It never took. So I then pinned and tried to sew by hand just enough to keep it together while I managed it's bulk into the sewing machine. I ended up having to remove the pins and just take it slowly.  Some places the stitching is so close and tight, and then it gets loose.  Those were the places that it started moving easily through the machine. I had to do one spot twice as parts started to pull apart because not enough overlap was sewn together. The ripped parts are now closed up and I have my blanket back now. After I finished, I pretty much vowed that I didn't want to look at a sewing machine for a long time. Alas, she has a hole in my quilt that my grandma made for me.  I must fix that because I'll never get rid of my angel blanket.

After

Trinity seems to be happy that it's back again! I'm no Betty Crocker/Homemaker, but it was nice to be able to save the blanket and not just have to throw it away.

Wildflower

I just finished listening to Wildflower by Drew Barrymore this afternoon on my way home. I liked listening to the stories of her life and getting to know a different side of her than what I see in movies and magazines. She seems like a pretty amazing person, determined not to repeat the mistakes of her past.  I got to see the side of her that produced films, hunted out stories worth telling, attempted to make pancakes, and the famous Toddette. I enjoyed learning about how her and Adam started collaborating together on films and how her film company, was worried about how well Never Been Kissed would do in theaters. I absolutely love that movie. And Charlie's Angels, I think I watched it like 20 times on repeat one summer.

One thing I did notice, is her hodge-podge of "god." She mentions astrology, Eastern religions, Judaism, and New Age.  And I guess I'd say "new age" is like someone saying, "the universe has blessed me with this new juicer." I did like that every curve ball life threw her way, she looked for a lesson...or at least was able to look back when writing this and find a lesson in her trial. Way to go Drew, I hope you find the one and true God some day.

PS: I also came across this song the other day while flipping radio channels.

Bay-Don't-Watch

I grew up watching Baywatch. I loved it!! It's probably why I loved the ocean and wanted to be a marine biologist (for a while...before I found out science and my brain just didn't mesh) without ever setting foot near an ocean.

I movie reboot was just crass. It had a ton of foul language, unnecessary nudity, a dick (balls and all) getting stuck SIDEWAYS in a chair, and slow-mo run focusing on girl and boy parts slow-mo bouncing.  Now, I now, Bay Watch is known for it's slow-mo running, this was just unnecessary slow-mo. There were some funny parts. Watching Ronnie dance as a distraction was pretty hilarious. The story line was not all that bad, actually. They had a crime and murders to solve. I was confused, because it made it seem like Ronnie and Dave were really good friends. Then it switches over to they were just old co-workers. I don't know about you, but I don't just call up my old co-workers to meet me at the beach, let alone would I ask them for assistance if my private parts got stuck in something.


Overall, it was a waste of time. Zac Efron's abs couldn't even save it. I did like when the Rock referred to Zac's character as "High School musical."  Plenty of spoof moments sprinkled throughout.

Friday Follow Up

Favorite Song(s) of the week:
I haven't been listening to too much music this week. I have been listening to my audio book or Pastor Collin Smith's sermons on the way to work. Maybe, Teenagers, by My Chemical Romance.  That song got me super pumped and reliving my teen years.

Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
"I love cookies. I can relate almost anything to cookies. Cookie analogies!" "Oh...I don't see that word in print very often, took me a moment." "Lol, this isn't Kiss the Girls." -convo at work
"If you ever need a boyfriend, my dog is in love with you." - my neighbor about how her dog waits to see me walk by every day and how sad he gets if I don't

Favorite thing done this week:
Mani/Pedi date with my Meep and buy my first pair of Michael Kors sunglasses. They were a splurge, but a necessary one. Last year, I had lasik done. I also tried on a pair of Michael Kors sunglasses for the first time last summer, and it was amazing. My friend was like, all sunglasses will never compare again once you have tried these sunglasses. She was right.

Favorite show/movie of week:
I haven't watched much, but I did like what I saw when I watched Alone. It's kind of like Naked and Afraid, but you get clothes and are solo.

Favorite thing read:
Wildflower by Drew Barrymore

Favorite event:
Friday!

Most inspired moment:
When I actually dragged my but out of bed early Thursday to do my workout before work!

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say: "I can't pay my bill this week. I only get paid every other week," I would be a millionaire already. Budget people! And besides people who get paid once a month or in big clumps, I'm fairly certain the whole of the job market gets paid bi-weekly.

Weirdest dream: I honestly can't think of a single dream that I had this week. Mostly, my ex turns up in some manner in my dreams; sometimes just a glimpse and sometimes a major part in my dreams. I can't think of any particular dream, so next week I'll have to keep a dream journal to see what twisted things my subconscious is dredging up for me to deal with.

Strike One

These Thirsty Thursday's have gotten difficult. When I started, it was a way to keep me accountable to my goals of not being a hermit/recluse, searching for love and meaning, and getting fit. I added the spiritual element recently as my walk with God has grown. It's also great to keep me accountable with my faith so that I can continue to draw close to the very One who grants my each and every breath.

Physical: I've seen a steady gain of weight in my life. I think it is related to stress and stress eating. I'm still not getting enough sleep either. I feel like there are so many things to do and not enough time. I know good sleep is essential to a healthy life and getting fit.

I started back up with My Fitness Pal. I was finally able to sink it with my Fit Bit. Last week, I saw the scale dip from 168 to 163! I account this mainly to my cycle ending. When I hopped on the scale tonight, it was at 166. That's still down from 168!  Last week, I was only tracking my eating and doing my regular walking routine with the dogs. This week I started up with 21 Day Fix Extreme. I've wanted to just skip it, but I've stuck with it. Tomorrow is cardio though, my least favorite day!

I also have my first physical in 4 years scheduled. Things like lack of insurance have kept me from staying with regular check-ups. I think I will need to get my thyroid checked when I go. I've had some weird struggles with working out and gaining weight. I also seem to be tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. I just want to get back to healthy again.

Relationships: Well, my marriage tanked. Not that I wanted it to. When it was me, sitting alone in the courtroom last December, I cried. When they asked me if I though our marriage was "irrevocably damaged," I said no. I love and care for my ex deeply. He screwed up; he is screwed up. I think a lot of it stems from his inability to express emotions. I think they scare him; especially the big, messy emotions. He copes with poor choices, anger, and pushing people away. I miss him terribly, but I know he needs the work of God in his life.  I know God is the only one that can bring about that miracle change; where He swaps out our old, ugly, hurting, hard heart for a "heart of flesh." That's my heart's prayer, every day.

I have tried going out a few times. It seems it was a strike out though. I asked a guy from work about the situation. I was like, is this one of those, "he's just not that into you" things or do you think he's scared of being a rebound guy. My co-worked was no help. He was like: "could be he's shy, could be he's just not that into you. You may have to make that first move." Well, since I was already the one that worked up the courage to ask this acquaintance out 2 times, I'm thinking I'm over it. After we'd spend time together, he just wouldn't talk to me...for weeks. And we see each other pretty regularly in passing. Oh well. This is not the end. I shall carry on.

I also am back in my beloved book club!!  I love my book club ladies! It is so much fun just to get together once a month to talk books and life. It also turns one of my solitary hobbies into a social one! Win-Win.

Career:  I'm working towards my dreams. I already have an idea for a B&B called "The Pineapple House." I am in love with this idea already. Dreams are dreams, but I need to start really laying out some goals to start moving towards this goal. I also want to go back to school for counseling. I get so bogged down between work, dogs, commute, working out! I need to just do it one of these days. Sign up and go for it!

Spiritual: God is amazingly gracious. I know I screw up everyday. And like most people, I struggle with my ego and pride. I am so grateful that each day is knew and that God is guiding me along the path to sanctification! I'm in a new D-Group. We know call them "huddle groups" because they are much smaller in size. I enjoy my small group of girls. We've all seen some big challenges in life, so we can bolster each other through the tough times. Praise God for bringing these strong ladies into my life. We are starting a new study soon and I am very eager to see what nuggets of wisdom God has tucked away in the study for us.

Well, it's almost my bed time and I need to get to bed so I can get as close to 7 hours of sleep as I possibly can! Gotta wake up and get that cardio done ✓!

Getting Old

As my Pandora shuffled over to My Chemical Romance, I began to sing/scream the lyrics with all the punk/goth/rocker chick spirit I contain. At one point, I realized the tables have turned. At one point, I was the teen screaming about how I'd scare the shit out of my elders. Now, I am the one worried about the teenagers of the day. I'm not really scared about how they dress or what they listen too. I'm more worried that some can't figure out how to manager their money or seem completely oblivious to how things work. Some of the questions I answer for people on a regular basis has me so concerned for our younger generations. I'm not a parent, but I'm already fairly certain I won't let mine set foot in a school. When you've worked with people going to become teachers that don't understand basic principles of language or life, it makes you afraid. Especially when the younger years of child development are so crucial to brain development. I'm still pretty young at heart and I like to think I can still scare someone with my radical-ness; however, I have begun to realize how PG my life is. I can't complain, but seriously, when did I get old?!?




Oh Gerard ❤

Inconvenience Fee

So I recently purchased something online and picked it up in store. I had to pay a convenience fee for them pulling it aside for me. When I got to the store, I expected to just pick up and go. However, it turned out to take about 15 minutes. I had already paid and just needed to pick up. I got pointed to the back of the store and told to go pick it up there. I had to walk passed the item on the shelf to go pick up. I also had to search for someone to help me. I was then told I still needed to go through the check-out to have it noted that I had picked up the item. When I got to the cash register, the cashier had no idea what to do. It was really quite inconvenient to pick it up. I went in thinking that it would be and in and out trip, but it was not at all. It seems that it must be really new to the store, because no one seemed to know what to do. I think I will just do with the going into the store and shopping now.

To Stay or Not to Stay, That is the Question

So if you have ever followed my blog, you know that I am a poly-reader; meaning I am reading multiple books at the same time. Currently, I am reading Wildflower by Drew Barrymore, The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman, and On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingals Wilder.  I get to listen to Wildflower during my commute, read Ice Cream Queen during free time, and Plum Creek while on break at work and between calls. 

The most recent book I finished, was If I Stay by Gayle Forman. I enjoyed the book and listening to it. I don't think it was particular amazing. It is a new way to think about life and death. My personal morals don't quite align with what is portrayed in the movie; but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the story. I'm a sucker for a love-conquers-all kinda story. Mia, the main character, goes through her life story and reasons for staying or leaving life behind, after her family has been in a terrible car crash. I won't spoil it, but I'm pretty sure many people have seen the movie that came out a while ago. If you love stories and seeing life from someone else's view; this is a good book to just enjoy.