Give the dude a break...or a girlfriend!

I feel bad for Dr. Reid right now. His poor character has so much crap happen to him: anthrax, kidnapped and tortured, schizophrenia! The poor dude needs a break. CBS Criminal Minds writers, if you see this...you need to give poor Reid a girlfriend. And not just so he gets some loving or it takes away from the main grit of the show, but if you are going to have him deal with the torture of thinking he's becoming schizophrenic or if he actually is - he needs someone that will be there to help take care of him. Personally, I think he should date a librarian; someone who is smart and plus, what better place for the genius book nerd to find a date/relationship.

Speaking of Criminal Minds, my immense skills of behavior analysis (from my extensive time spent watching the show) helped me to diagnose the guy at the gym the other day as a narcissist. Probably didn't help that I know the guy and his family, but just watching him spend the majority of his time at the gym pacing or staring at himself in the mirror while lifting only sealed the profile.



Speaking of the gym, I spent about 2-3 hours in the pool today (ours, sadly, is nowhere as pimp as the Hearst Castle indoor pool, or outdoor one for that matter - I don't think you get someone else's band aid stuck on your foot there...inner germaphobe gags!). It was mostly spent goofing around with my little brother. The rain, sleet, snow, hail crap has been keeping him from burning of his high levels of energy with sports, so he burned some off in the pool today. I think I might pickle from how much I've been in the water...he wants to go again tomorrow! One of the ladies at the pool thought he was my kid and asked me where I got him. Well, if he's my kid - I'd tend to guess he came from my, well, va-jay-jay, but okay lady - maybe I just picked him up off some street corner in inner city Milwaukee (my little brother is Ethiopian American).

And to end this whole shabang - let's talk about va-jay-jay...or at least the "down under" doctor as my mom likes to refer to them as. Anyways, I think mine must be a stand up comedian in her spare time. She was talking about how she's going to Peru this year for vacation and so she's trying to learn some Spanish and these are the phrases she already knows: "Are you leaking any fluid?" "Vagina" and I think one of them was something about mucus. I think I spent more of my time laughing in that office than anything; however, I suppose the laughter helps people loosen up a bit. Nobody really enjoys another person you don't really know all that well poking around down there - least of all when she's taking scrapings (ouch!). The nurse checking me in told me I could undress when she left, but I could feel free to leave my socks on; yes, I want to be completely nude in front of a complete stranger while having my mid-calf high argyle socks on! These people be CRAZY! The "down under" doctor also asked if she could have a cholesterol and Vitamin D screening done because Wisconsinites apparently have high levels of osteoporosis due to a lack of Vitamin D. The lady taking my blood is apparently the one who takes the blood for screenings on babies; she kept looking at me like a was a very small child that might faint (it could happen) or bolt at the first prick of the needle. Luckily, I made it through. You know what question I have always wanted to ask OB/GYNs is: how many shotty shave jobs do you see a day? I suppose it probably varies with your demographics, but I still think it would be interesting to find out their answers.