Well That Was Awkward

I just finished Well That Was Awkward by Rachel Vail. It was cutesy and I felt like I was back in middle school myself. It was like rampaging hormones and confusion all over again. Mostly teeny drama of who likes whom and dealing with death of a sibling. It's not high brow or even the best book, like ever, but the person who wrote it has connections with someone I know. It's a good thing to say I've read the book, for their sake. It wasn't completely without merit. There was standing up to bullies and dealing with your own inner junk. *deep* I am pretty sure though, my vocab may have taken a dive in the last few weeks (note: it expired before I could finish and then it was already on hold for someone else, so I had to wait to get it again to finish it). The main character and her friends have some good and witty quips. They were definitely nerd material and I loved that.

The Magnificent Seven

I have wanted to watch this movie since I first saw the trailer. I'm a little late to the watching of it. I haven't watched the older version either. I didn't realize until recently that this was a remake. I like all the actors they have in this remake.

I was folding my laundry and doing chores while watching it. Action movies, kind of like Hallmark movies, you can keep one eye on it and keep doing other things at the same time. It's about a town taken over by a rich miner. He's trying to scare them off the land (including killing a few towns people) to turn a profit. One of the women goes to seek out someone to help them stand up to jerk. They come up with a motley crew of guys and they take on all that money can buy. It's basically a western version of 300, but with 7. It was still a good action movie and I'll have to rent the older version too to compare.

Money is NOT the Root of All Evil. That's the Andrews Sisters

So I have a pet peeve. It is people misquoting things and acting all smart and self-righteous. When someone posts this, it takes all I can not to just drop knowledge. I will just write this one post instead of commenting on many posts. 

When you see this, you are confusing what the Bible says with a song by the Andrew Sisters. It's a catchy fun little song, and I love the Andrew Sisters. That song, does grate on my nerves though. The Bible does not say that money is the root of evil. Inanimate objects aren't evil. Not even the apple that got us all in this mess. It was disobeying God that brought sin into the world. 

The exact quote from 1 Timothy 6:10, "For the love of money is a root of>all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pang.">It's not even really the desire for money that is the issue, it's that the desire of money pulls you away from God and depending on his goodness and provision. You make money your idol and source of satisfaction; unfortunately, money (insert any other earthly thing) will never satisfy your need for God.

De-Stress

This weekend, when I was out walking and listening to my audio book, Titus lunged at something and I was caught off guard. I didn't think anything of it at the time. All yesterday, my whole left leg would go numb and just throb with pain. I did lots of stretches and yoga poses to work out my hip flexors, hammies, and quads. I did pigeon and it felt like heaven (probably the only time I'll say that) and I alternated between sitting and standing at my desk a lot. I got home last night, did my 3 walks, and then rested with my leg raised. Before bed, I also rubbed my leg from hip to calf with muscle "de-stress gel." It worked and I was able to go to bed like a little baby. 

Today, my leg was cramping up again. For some reason, I touched my low back and felt a jolt of pain. Ding ding ding. We have a winner and now I know why my leg hurts so much. It took my until this morning to link leg pain to back pain and back pain to Titus jerking my low back on Sunday. I targeted my stretches to my low back. It's still tender and my calf muscle is super crampy tonight. I'll have to resort to my muscle gel again, but I'm not sad. I'd love to have my back and leg feel like a million right now, but for needing muscle gel, this stuff is amazing. It smells delicious; it's a mix of rosemary, black pepper, lavender, and ginger. Most importantly, it does the job! And tomorrow, I won't have to ask my coworkers if they have a stash of icy hot. I can haul this to work with me and use it at my desk without fear of people being grossed out by the smell. 

What If?

So if you know me, know me, you know I like weird knowledge books. The book, What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions  by Randall Munroe is just one of those books. I loved it. I listened to it as an audio book, so I lost some of the math element that I could have worked better seeing it written out.
My favorite sections are the "disturbing questions" that have been submitted. I think my favorite one was how cold would your teeth have to be to shatter upon drinking a cup of hot coffee. His response was: "thanks for my new re-occurring nightmare." That reminded me of a friend that has a re-occurring nightmare of all their teeth being pulled out by gum.
This is just a great book of odd knowledge and math. I like math but I'm not good at science. I never took physics. I probably would have struggled but ultimately liked it. Just, if you're a nerd, you should probably check this book out sometime.

Braven

Whoa! I actually watched a movie...last Sunday. Life has just been so crazy getting ready for the house, I haven't been writing as much as I'd like to lately.

So Jason Momoa is yummy. I used to watch Battlestar Galactic just for him. When I saw this movie in the Prime free movies, I jumped at the chance. Last Sunday it was rainy and nasty all day long. I napped and watched Braven.

The premise is that Joe Braven, is a logger (in Canada?). His dad has been having memory problems since a traumatic injury and he decides it's time to confront his dad about it. He's got a little cabin out in the woods where he takes his dad to discuss these issues. One of Joe Braven's coworkers, the truck driver, is also smuggling drugs in a hollowed out log. The semi crashes during a winter storm, it's close to Joe's cabin. He stashes the drugs there for safe keeping, until he can come back. He is accompanied by all the big bad drug traffickers on a retrieval mission. Unlucky for them, Joe and his dad have already arrived.  The drug dealers just want to kill them and take the drugs, but Joe and his dad aren't going down without a fight. There's also another problem, Joe's daughter stow-awayed in the back of the truck and came to the cabin too. And, as you can see by the picture above, there is a big show down.

It's a pretty typical action movie. Guy, against all odds, defeats bad guys and saves the day. It didn't mean that it wasn't entertaining. Hell, Hallmark movies are all the same and somehow, you can't stop watching them. The only thing I didn't like was how they so quickly glossed over the memory loss/mental health issue. There was a slight mention of it and then the problem is gone. Tied up in a neat little bow. No actually having to face the scarier issue of mental decline in a loved one. Having helped take care of my aunt with early on-set Alzheimer's, some days, it would have been easier to fight off the whole battalion of bad guys than to have stayed patient while trying to help her dress.

Independent Women

I have been working 10 hour days. 2 down, 2 to go. I'm tired and I shall go to bed shortly. Some days my job is a circus. I'm just so glad to be blessed with a way to provide for myself. I got my FabFitFun box today, one of my brothers told me it was such a waste of money. It's so nice to get "presents" in the mail when you're an adult, even if you bought it for yourself. I was like: no one else buys me presents, and if I bought it, then Miss Independent, go me! Lol. I think he was a little taken aback. Also, he probably didn't get my Destiny's Child reference. Lol/Ugh, I'm so old! I so remember when this was my jam in middle school.

 

Is it November 1st yet?

I have one 10 hour day under my belt. My Thirsty Thursdays for the next month will probably all consist of sleeping so that I can face another long day. Getting closer to the closing date and closer to November 1st. As the summer comes to a close, my coworkers and I start to banter about how we can't wait until November 1st. I can't wait until Oct 1st! So many exciting things happening. And right now, sleep is one of them!

Wake Me Up, When September Ends

Lol. I realize now that I wrote thinking yesterday was Wednesday. Ugh. It isn't the first time, it won't be the last. This next month is going to be a blur! It will be so worth it though. I'm going to bed here, shortly, and I'm going to try to do 2 10 hour days Thursday and Friday and try to get 5 hours in Saturday afternoon. Here's to hoping I can stay sane through it. I can't wait to close on this house! I'm also really excited for October (yay birthday) and November 1st (end of our busy season). Well, dulce sueños!

Toxicity

Some people should come with toxicity labels. Life would be so much easier if people did. I know we'd all be toxic, because we're all sinful and have fallen short of the glory of God, but there are those selfish people who will take from you and blame you when there is nothing left in you to take. Oh, the pain I could have been spared and the years I wouldn't have wasted.
I had someone come back in my life, declaring peace. The very next morning I'm being accused of screen shots of sending photos of other people to random people I don't know. It was like the time the person had told me they sent me a card by mail and I should have it the next day; but I didn't do what they wanted me to do 5 minutes later (it was close to midnight on a Saturday) and all the sudden they'd gotten the card back from the post office. Laughable. The stories don't line up. And that person got sick of me calling them on it.

These accusations got passed through a second person. I asked to see the screen shots of what I'm sending, so that if someone has hacked an account or created a false one with my information, I can take steps to protect myself. I then got called a selfish person for wanting that information. Even though that person also saw how there was no way I could know the person I had apparently sent the pictures too. It also didn't make sense how the person accusing me through this second person could have gotten screen shots from this other person, as the original/actual accuser isn't supposed to have contact with that person. *CONVOLUTED B.S.*  Did I suddenly revert to middle school? "He said, she said, that if he asked, she like, wouldn't mind and maybe if he likes her, she might like him. So you go tell him that."

I do not want to be a part of your drama! I am working on making my life better. And this person has recently found out that my life was taking an up turn. And bam, guess who turned up. After getting  all these accusations, I wrote a message back stating: "You stated you came in peace and you snuck in like the enemy. The only thing in life I've been stupid about is trusting you. No more. I'm closing the door on you." It felt so good and free-ing. I also deleted the person who passed along the accusation. If you're going to accuse someone and say there is proof you have, don't deny showing that proof. Or how about you don't be a pawn in the ridiculous game.

It's actually disgusting how many women I know are in/were in toxic relationships. Someone getting upset and freaking out on you because you said how you felt; it's not right. You should not have to walk on egg shells around your partner all the time. I'm not saying, you shouldn't be considerate of their feelings, but you shouldn't be worried about having all your things thrown out the front door and told you're pathetic and useless because the wind caught the door and it slammed shut.

I don't know, but maybe this is what healing feels like; to finally say, I may love you, but it isn't worth destroying my life or peace for you to never have peace or happiness. If you have a toxic person in your life, it is hard to loosen their grip on your life, especially if it's been years; but please, seek help. Contact me, I'll help you get help. Living hurting, afraid, or anxious because of someone else is no way to live your life.

If this image speaks to you at all, then it's time to start cutting ties to the person that makes you feel this way. I used to pass this every month on my way home from paying our utility bills. I felt a clench in my gut because I knew this was exactly how I felt; but I loved the person so much. I didn't want to let go. I kept thinking things could get better. They never did. One day, the stream of hate from the person was so intense I actually started dry heaving. Their response: oh, you're going to try to fake puke to try to make me feel a little worse about myself; well I won't.

One day at a Time

I am literally so tired tonight. I am exhausted. I don't know how much longer I can do these 50 hour weeks. I guess I just need to take one day at a time. I was able to finish my home buyer course today. Next step is filling out all the mortgage paperwork. Yikes. I'm so nervous about that. There are so many steps to this; but I have to take it just like my 50 hour work weeks, one step at a time.

When I Get My Hands on You

The show that I want to see is my dreams. I've had so much drama recently. This is just something I'd like to remind you of...


We will all have to stand before the Judge of this world some day.

Also, why has this song been missing from my life?

Work It

Physical: My workouts haven't been very good recently. I'm getting some quick yoga in over my breaks at work, maybe some before bed yoga. Between working 50 hour weeks, working on mortgage and home closing things, my nights and days are busy. I keep telling myself it is going to be so worth it come October and I'm in my own home. 

Relationship: I was recently reminded why it's a good thing to not let someone back into your life. I'm all about believing people having the ability to change by God's miracles. This was like: talk to person, next day, accused of horrible things...not worth it. I've got too many amazing things going on in my life to risk it on one person. 

Career: Work work work work work, hit me with that OT baby.

Spirit: I'm so glad I have my study I work on, a preacher I like to listen to during my commute to work, and my great church and dgroup. I'm also just humbled beyond belief by the blessing this home would be in my life! I can't wait to share it with others!

Puerto Rico Rises

So I did a slightly crazy thing a few weeks ago. It was something on my mind and my heart for a while, but I was always slightly worried about what would people think of me saying this. I finally got over it and created a fund raiser for Puerto Rico.

Almost a year after Maria, Puerto Rico is still struggling. The debt crisis and the storm have forced many people to leave their homes. The main issue with damaged infrastructure, is you need money to repair it. Puerto Rico's debts being called to account leave it little to no money to put into repairing and rebuilding damaged roads, bridges, and buildings.

The island is full of amazing people with big hearts. If they can pull together to help each other recover after the storm, I think the whole country (maybe even the world) can join together to lift Puerto Rico from debt. Where the government won't help, we the people need to step up and take action.

I know the figures are astronomical, but lots of small actions by many can add up quickly. Think about donating that jar of spare change, a fiver, 10% of one paycheck; any amount can help alleviate what Puerto Rico owes. You can donate here and I will forward the funds on, or you can donate directly to the government. You must specify it as a debt payoff. I know it seems weird to attempt to payoff government's debt, but it is possible. Take a look at this article, it explains how it works.

Lastly, I suppose you want to know why I want to pay off Puerto Rican debts. I'm just a girl who visited the island and fell in love; with the culture, people, and island itself.

If you'd like to help too, you can donate here.

Home Buyer Course

I'm going to make this short since I'm exhausted. I'm going to be working 50 hour weeks through the end of September! It will be so worth it get handed the keys to my new home!  Which is part of the reason I'm up so late. I was working through Topic 1 of my Home buyer course. It's called Home Ready. If I take this course, I can qualify for a lower PMI (mortgage insurance). I was recommended it by the bank that pre-approved me for a loan. There is a cost of $75 but they stated they'd reimburse me for taking it once it was completed. Only like 8 more topics to go!

This first topic was all about Credit Scores and budgeting. Things I've had an eye on since 2009. Mom sat me down and made sure I knew how to manage a budget and could afford my expenses. I think she didn't want to have any of her kids land in any avoidable messes. I wish everyone knew about budgeting. It would be so nice not to explain to people that the majority of people get paid every other week and you have to plan for your bills.

It's been informative so far, but I've had all the basics on this first topic. I'm hoping to learn more and feel a little less scared/excited about home ownership. I know God wouldn't lead me down this path unless it was right. I trust the God has my back...and so does my family.

The Heir and The Crown

I've been listening to The Selection series by Kiera Cass. I've been enjoying the series. I had to go to books 4 and 5 as I am still on the waiting list for book 2! It's a cutesy YA novel series.

The daughter, and heir, of the original selection (books 1-3) is now in her own selection process. She's narrowing down a group of 35 suitors to a husband. At the same time, her country is experiencing unrest. She's trying to handle both the selection and keeping her country from falling apart. Talk about stress. 

The Selection

Favorite Song(s) of the week:

 ↑ Marcus is my favorite. His voice is like a balm to my soul.

Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
"Welcome to the real adulting."
"Did you even sleep last night?"
All of the congratulations from my friends.

Favorite thing done this week:
Getting pre-approved for a loan and a house offer approved

Favorite show/movie of week:
Adulting

Favorite thing read:
The Selection by Kiera Cass

Favorite event:
House visits

Most inspired moment:
Putting in an offer on a house.

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
If roles were reversed, everyone would be encouraging me to go after what I wanted; but since I'm the girl, I'm told to leave what wasn't already given to me. Why can't I fight for what I want.
I need to work more overtime while I can!

Weirdest dream:
I got a house; someone was crazy enough to give me adult responsibilities. Oh wait, yeah, that really happened. 

Adulting

I have done so much adulting today. Loans, home visits, home offers. OMG! It's so confusing. And I feel little fluttery panics starting in my chest just thinking about it. I could have an accepted offer on a house within the next 2 days. Holy Guacamole! Am I ready for adulting? I don't know. It's all so exciting and terrifying all at once. All other areas of my life are temporarily side-stepping as I look into this first step of being a grown up all on my own. I mean, I've rented before and lived separate from my family before, but this is my first purchase! It's BIG news. Deep Breaths.
Whatever happens, I know that God has His plans for me. He's got my back no matter what I face. I also have an amazing family and parents that have walked with me every step of this process. I'm a pretty lucky gal.

#Blessed

As I sit here, petting Toby, and listening to an audio book; I'm just feeling so blessed. I've been thinking recently about something my ex told me: "Having your life destroyed gives you a blank slate to start over." I've been thinking about it since I listened to a book where the wife got cheated on; her mom tells her, you have the ability to start from scratch again. I know I've been clinging to the pieces of what I had so tightly that all I do is cut myself with the tiny shards. It's a scary, big decision with how you want to rebuild your life. I don't know what to do since my imagination has always been active, it seems like I have a new construct every other day. As yoga teaches me, several small choices make up a large choice. I'm going to be working on focusing on how to rebuild myself into the woman that God and I want me to be. And that makes me blessed.

Home Buying

So I am in the processes of trying to buy a home. It is interesting, exciting, and also so confusing!! Something looks so cute and perfect from the outside, but the hidden back corner of the house has a guy wire that is holding the house up. The house I saw on Monday was leaning so badly, it has a cable anchoring it to the ground. It totally depressed me because I loved everything else about the house.

It was similar to a house I looked at back in March. It was a perfect size for me, in the country with a giant yard; however, the house was like 10ft from the county highway and it was a complete gut and redo job. The garage was also falling over. Another house I looked at that same day was far too big for me with very little yard.

I have another house showing scheduled for this Thursday. I'm hopeful for this house too. It's got it's pros and cons. It's on a busy street, both car and pedestrian traffic. This is not good when you have a deaf dog that is petrified of other dogs. If I get this place, I may have to drive us to the current place I typically walk him. Pros are: a garage, 2 rooms, large yard, and it doesn't have a cable holding it upright!

Some advise on home searching.
1. Take people you really trust with you.
2. Take someone who knows something about houses/construction
3. Don't get your hopes up too much about any one property. You get your hopes dashed when you find out the house you were already calling "my house" is held up by a string.
4. Be willing to compromise on things.

Legend-wait-for-it-dairy

So I read Legendary by Stephanie Garber. I read it so fast. I didn't want to put it down. It left so many questions. And I can't wait to get my hands on the next book. There were so many twists and what ifs! Was it all real or was it a set-up? Who really is Legend?


The second book is a second installment of Caravel that was set up for the queen's birthday. The Fates have started to come free. They want Legend and Legend wants them. Tella is set on a mission from the Prince of Hearts to find the true name of Legend. She is torn between keeping her word to the Prince of Hearts in exchange for information on her mother who disappeared when she was young and winning the heart of Dante. Dante, he's the dark, brooding, bad boy from Caravel.

I can't say enough good things about the book; just go read it.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I haven't had a spare moment for tv or movies this week. I think I honestly watched about 20 minutes of a Caribbean Life episode on HGTV before I became jealous and needed to leave to be productive.

I did watch a "show" of sorts this Friday. I went to a Mallards Baseball game. It was an event. I had been up since 5:30am, so I was tired, but the company was good and the game was close. The Mallards were leading at the beginning and half-way through, the other team started to get run after run. The game itself was very interesting. They also had little games between each inning; but my favorite part (aside from the company) was Colt, the bat dog. He was so adorable, running out and grabbing the bats. He scared the umpire almost every single time.

Pineapple Living

Physical: Working on the 30 days of yoga. I've been stealing away on my breaks to a meeting room and working through some Sun Salutations. I've been so busy this week, literally, every night this week had something going on and I've got a baseball game tomorrow night too! I haven't been walking as much as normal this week, and my workout aren't as intense as the 21 Day Fix ones, and so my calorie intake is off this week. It's still under what I'm burning for the day, but not as high of a deficit as I'd like. I'm not going to stress about it though.

Relationships: I am so blessed with amazing friends! I don't have a large group or people that I'm just always with in every spare moment. But we get together regularly to enjoy each other's company. I got to meet up with Meep and her hubby at State Fair, D-Group 2x this week, book club, and a baseball game tomorrow with one of my bffs from high school.

Career: I need to pull the trigger on schooling here soon. I am scared to death of failure. I am scared to death I won't have the time. I barely feel like I have the time for life as it is right now. God will provide the way.

Spiritual: This week I've been smacked upside the head with several sermons. The one from my home church, titled, Drink Deeply, was a message that my heart needed to hear this last weekend. Jesus himself drank from the bitter cup that ruined his life and caused it's demise. He faced that because it was the Father's will and His purpose. Exodus 15:22-27 references the bitter water that the Israelites found in the desert. God was the way to change those bitter waters into sweet water. Amen that He does that for us when we look to Him for our satisfaction and source of living water.

Unlocking the Bible this week has been just a wealth of conviction and joy. Monday started with "The Heart Wants What it Wants" and was followed by "Children of Wrath." I am prone to falling into thoughts of, I'm not that bad of a person. I've not done anything really wrong in my life; I'm a rule follower...most of the time. :) The list of sins that the heart is prone to smacked me right in the face as I went, "ugh, oh, yeah, I've got that one..umm, ok, I'm a horrible person." But the amazing thing is,  I have Jesus pulling for me and the Holy Spirit working on sanctifying me.

I went to our large group bible study tonight and we made painted signs. Of course, I made a pineapple. I wrote "Be Fruity" and wrote the reference to the fruits of the spirit. The fruits of the spirit are exact opposites to the list of sinful desires of the heart. I crave pineapple about as much as my soul longs to be better. So the sign will be a good reminder.

30 Days of Yoga

I am on day 3 of 30 Days of Yoga. I haven't really felt any changes in my body, but I can feel my body begin to meld back into the poses; like "ah, welcome home old friend, it's been a while." I really love yoga and the way it is both graceful and challenging. For me, the main challenge comes from within, my inner voice that says no. One of my favorite yoga shirts says: "Nothing stands in my way, but me." My mom hates the shirt, but that's because it once was a white shirt and now it is not so white any more.

The first night, I was very excited the my brother joined me for "Ripped: Yoga with Weights." His comment was, "this is like, actually hard." I asked him if he'd ever do yoga with me again, he said "maybe." That is huge coming from someone that has always said yoga was too easy for him to try. Day 2, I did bedtime yoga and restorative poses are always so amazing! I was zenned out and ready for bed! Today, I've managed to piece together a practice: A warm up and Sun As on break one, Sun B on break 2, after work and before book club, I got in the rest of my Sun Salutations. I'm going to do a few more poses before bed.

I think more importantly, than the physical, is the emotional transformation I'm hoping to have. I've heard a couple good sermons and I started a new Bible study this week. I want to fall in love, and who better to fall in love with than my Savior.  One of the quotes for the study, Finding I Am, really stood out to me today: "Those answers and the easing of that ache aren't the source of finally becoming fully satisfied. They aren't. And you believing this lie is a scheme of Satan to keep you in an unsatisfied place. I've been in an unsatisfied place for a long time now. I'm ready to turn to my Savior, Jesus, to fully satisfy.

Strawberry Scones Forever

I had some strawberries and I wanted to bake. So I "pinned." I found a recipe for Strawberry Scones (recipe in the link). They were pretty simple to make. I usually find that the "total times" for recipe from prep to finish is always longer when I do it. This didn't take me long at all. I also didn't get as many scones out of it. Maybe I didn't cut mine small enough, but I had 8 large scones. They turned out delicious.

One of the guys I live with was leaving for New York City on Sunday, so I had made them as a kind of "Bon Voyage" treat. He'd never had one before; he took one bite and was like, can I take another for the road. I also got told by another guy I live with, "You couldn't have made those, they look like they came from a store." I can't decide if that is a compliment or an insult that he'd think my baking not store quality. When he tasted them, he thought they were divine. I already have a request for more. I have a ton of strawberries and blueberries that I'll have to put to good use.

I did have to change one thing about the recipe. I only used 1 cup of powdered sugar with the glaze, not 3 cups! I still used the same amount of wet ingredients though. They still tasted sweet without the added sugar.

Broken Brooklyn

I recently listened to Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín. It's a novel that takes place shortly after the end of WWII. Eilis and her sister live at home with their mom in Ireland. She is unemployed, but hopeful to get office work. She is somewhat ambushed with a job offer in America. Her mother and sister are very insistent that she take this opportunity. A Father from Brooklyn, played golf with her sister and bam, moving to Brooklyn. She sets off to America, does her work, distracts herself with night school, and gets a boyfriend. She ends up going back to Ireland after a family emergency. Her boyfriend begs her to come back, the get married quick before she leaves. When she's back in Ireland, she gets lost in her life back home, trying to figure out what life would be like if she stayed.

*SPOILER ALERT*
I am genuinely disgusted with how this book ends. I'm actually surprised by how many books I pick up that had adultery in it. I guess life will keep bringing up what you try to avoid or shut the door on, until you face it. The last portion of the book just annoyed me. I bristled. It was like she tried piecing her life together back in Ireland. It seemed like her biggest issue was how to get a divorce in 50s Ireland and also that spiteful old lady knowing she was already married. Then on the boat ride home, she was like. I'll read all my husband's letters on the ride home so it won't seem like I left them unread while I ran around with another guy; pretty much just trying to sweep it under the rug and pretend that it didn't happen.

I guess we all have our sins that we don't know exactly why we do it, we just do it. Then we're left afterward thinking what possessed us to do such a thing. Maybe that's what she felt. It didn't seem like she had much guilt over her cheating. I don't know if the author wanted it that way. Overall, I was really interested in the book.

Books Rule and Movies Drool

I have not watched anything again. I think I may have to change Sunday Cinema to something else. It was easier to have movie reviews when book club met every two weeks; once for book and once for a movie. My life is now mostly ruled by dog walks and audio books. I listen, mostly, when driving home from work. While walking, I like to be present in the world and sounds around me. I also try to spend that time talking to God, but I get easily distracted. I like that I can also accomplish things while listening (however, I did go through a stage where I watched How I Met Your Mother while doing just about everything; a frame holder was great for propping up my tablet and watching while I did dishes).
So the long and the short of it is: I didn't watch a movie to review, but books are better anyways. :)

Do You Need a Translator?

Favorite Song(s) of the week:


Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
"I like your dedication."
"Do you not understand me? Do you speak English? Do you need a translator?" - a guy to me. Actually, he just wasn't understanding my English.

Favorite thing done this week:
Finished my book and spending time with friends

Favorite show/movie of week:
Again, mostly just watched my workout videos

Favorite thing read:
Legendary by Stephanie Garber

Favorite event:
Planning the weekend with my girls
Watching the city band with my friend and puppy

Most inspired moment:
Looking at different online universities and trying to find the best one for me

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
I'm tired of being lonely at night. 
I must start taking night classes, but do I have the time?

Weirdest dream:
I can't remember any from this week. I loosely remember one where a group of people were standing in a circle and walking towards me. It felt quite threatening. And then it was gone. 

Husband Hunt

Physical: I am skipping leg day today. I'll just push everything back. I went for extra long walks tonight and I'm already 400 less than my goal intake for the day. My body honestly needs sleep more than another workout right now.  Plus, I'm feeling pretty blue that for practically a month I have been eating a reduced calorie diet and working out...I'm sitting around a 3 lb weight loss.

My lab results had come back last Saturday. I specifically asked them to test for my thyroid function because I'm always tired and seem to gain weight when maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It is very frustrating. When my lab results came back, everything showed in normal range except Alkaline Phosphates. I googled, because of course, google has the answers.  It says reasons for low alkaline phosphates could be: malnutrition, liver issues, or hypothyroidism.  So I called up my doctor.  They said, oh, don't worry about it, everything else is fine. I think I better worry about something linked to poor liver function and malnutrition. My alkaline phosphates were at 16 and normal range was listed in the 30s. I think I may have to probe a little further to see what could be causing this lack of alkaline phosphates.

Relationships: I think I need to start a "Husband Hunt." I'm tired of being lonely. It would be so nice to come home to someone who'd give me a nice big hug and then share my burdens at the end of the day. I love coming home to my dogs; however, they are just big, lovable, completely dependent dogs that need me to care for them.  They need their walks, dinner, cuddles, medicine. It's a big responsibility, but I love them and I wouldn't trade them for any thing.

There are several couples in our neighborhood that walk together every night. Most of them hold hands and walk.  It is so cute.  I want that.

Career:  I started requesting information from Northwestern to take classes to get a Master's in Counseling. I'm nervous about it. I could get my Master's extending out over 12 semesters/6 years. I think 2 classes a semester could be doable. I wonder if I could do winter courses. I don't think I could do additional summer courses. We've been on mandatory overtime at work since mid-June and it will be going until the end of September. I think even adding one class to my plate over the summer months would be too much. We'll see what I decide. There is another online university that offers a Christian Counseling Master's; I want to look into that more too.

Spiritual: Some days, I just wish the Holy Spirit would just take over my body and handle some of this hard stuff for me. Like: "can you just take that pain away already? I'd like to be over it now," or "can you just tell me what I'm supposed to do here, that would be helpful?" I know the Holy Spirit cries out the prayer of my heart to my loving Jesus, even when my lips fail to have the words to pray. Thank you Holy Spirit for having my back.

You Should Give a Sip!

There are some very distressing things that come out of our convenience culture. Being a Christ follower, we have a responsibility to take care of the earth that our God created!  Plastic anything has a horrible effect on our waterways. I walked the beaches in Puerto Rico picking up plastic laundry cartons, water bottles, plastic bags, and numerous other junk items. If we junk our oceans and waterways, we ruin our whole planet and our selves. Just take a look at this video.


There are so many things you can exchange out for reusable items. Simple changes, like a reusable water bottle, reusable cutlery, reusable laundry balls (something like crystal wash or wool dryer balls). Another big plastic waste is drinking straws. Cutting back on fast food is already a great way to limit straw usage. Some things you just can't drink without a straw; who wants a root beer float without a straw? There are reusable water bottles with straws (my favorite one I got from State Fair last year) abut there are also plenty of reusable/biodegradable options. If you take the pledge to ditch plastic straws as giveasip.us they'll send you a free reusable straw. There are also a lot of options on Amazon or in stores; you can get paper straws!

You can also talk to your legislators about ditching plastic single use items like shopping bags and straws! New York is working on passing laws to ditch the straw. Even if you don't take the pledge, just being more conscious of what we use and discard that isn't made of materials that degrade in the same decade or century they were used once, can make a big difference.

Facebook Fast

So, a few years back, I had to go off social media for a while. I didn't hate it. It was actually quite nice.

Now, I'm doing it for me.  I have been just not going on Facebook, Monday through Friday. I've been doing it for close to a month now. I do not regret it. Giving up Facebook has allowed me time to workout and blog again!  How crazy is that!  The main reason I wanted to start giving up Facebook, was to spend less time watching other people live their lives, and spend more time living mine!

It was also less hard to give up than I thought it would be. Even the notifications I get, I just delete. The first week, it would send me notifications.  Then it started to get desperate, I was actually getting emails from Facebook: Did you see this comment on "so-and-so's" post? "This person" posted, did you see it? I was like, geeze, clingy much? I go on over my weekends, but I spend less time doing it that I was before the Monday-Friday fast.

Now, I just need to spend less time on Pinterest and Instagram! Lol.

Helter Skelter

I've got another 3 books all going at once: Longbourn, Legendary, and Ice Cream Queen (still, I know...I miss placed it for a week and found it wrapped up in my hammock!).  I haven't finished either yet, but I am enjoying them all. In fact, I want to get back to Legendary right now. I'm more than half done already. I'm off to rinse the day away and hope in bed with my doggos and read until I can't possibly keep my eyes open; which, now that I'm old only takes about 5 minutes!

No Time

I haven't watched a single thing this week. I may have caught glimpses of shows here and there, but I haven't even watched one 30 minute tv show. The only thing I can say I've watched all the way through all week is my 21 Day Fix Extreme workout videos. Which, I have to do my yoga one now. Then I'll have a little time to read my book before bed. It is one of those books where you wouldn't feel guilty staying in bed reading all day. The only thing you'd feel is sadness that the book had to end.

And I'm off to yoga and read.

Polar Bear Dreams and Cardio

Favorite Song(s) of the week:

Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
"You actually had a gyno say your downstairs area was 'juicy'? I think there are better synonyms for that."
"Do you ever get any pain when you work out?" "You mean other than the pain in my soul when I have to do cardio?" "I feel the same way about cardio!"

Favorite thing done this week:
Biking to the library to pick up my back.

Favorite show/movie of week:
Didn't really watch anything this week. I watched some Property Brothers and Fixer Upper. I love HGTV

Favorite thing read:
I finally got Legendary!!! I am so excited. I've only read a few pages so far, but I am probably going to spend too much time this weekend reading it.

Favorite event:
Finishing cardio

Most inspired moment:
Writing up a description for the fund raiser I want to start...hopefully this weekend. I've been playing with the idea of it for years now, but the time feels right now.

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
If I had any, they have all slipped my sleepy mind at this point. 

Weirdest dream: So I have had several this week. The strangest and funniest involved my dogs and what I do every day...walk them!  So I was walking down this road near my home, and where the actually is a sub-station, there was a lake. My dogs weren't on a lead. As we were walking by this, some panic arose and people started running about. There was a polar bear coming up and out of the semi-frozen lake by the road. I, also panicked, and began herding my dogs away from the lake. My two biggest, boy dogs, all scramble away with me.  My little Trinity Mae, with sass for days, walks up to the polar bear that just climbed up on to the land. She has her teeth bared and is snapping her jaws at it (like she does to her dad and uncle when they are play fighting). I quick went back and got her...how, I'm not entirely sure. 
I think the dream stemmed from the fact that I put her out on her dad's lead by his dog house and had her dad in the garage instead. She literally chewed through the cable (one set to hold a 150 lb dog...and she is 60lbs) and ran into the garage and curled up in the kennel. 

Forgiveness

Physical: I just finished leg day and I am so exhausted. I didn't get up early and do it. So I cranked it out before bed. That, plus the melatonin, should knock me out. I have to say, I slept really well last night. I did wake up a few times, but only to change positions and fall back asleep. My bed looks so good right now.

I had my physical yesterday. It is good to keep on your health from all angles. Exercising, eating well more often than not, SLEEPING, and having regular checks.  It's always the healthy that you hear dying out of no where.

Relationships: My co-worker asked me if I'd consider Christian Mingle the other day. I heard that Christian Mingle is just a hook-up spot for "Christians." I don't know. I think I need to focus on me and what I need and what God's plan is for me. When I'm on the right path, I know I will get what I need. God won't hide it from me.

Career:  I got given a project to work on this week. It was amazing! Any time not having to be on the phone is some good time.

There have also been talks of home agents. I am hoping for this; it would add so much time to my day, not having to drive.  It also keeps me from having to drive during the winter and scary weather.

Spiritual: I heard an interesting sermon by Pastor Colin Smith with Unlocking the Bible. It's about forgiving people who don't repent. The point he states is that you don't have to forgive if the person doesn't repent. It has really made me think about forgiveness. I have some people in my life that are hard to forgive because they aren't repentant at all. His main point is that non-forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean anger/hate/bitterness. I like at the end, he says, if you even see someone on the horizon of repentant, run to meet them with love and forgiveness (like the father did for the prodigal son). There is a link to the sermon above. Give it a listen and see what you can glean from it. It's called "What God can't Forgive."

PS: My one big issue with it is how he states John the Baptist was preaching of repentance and about Jesus's birth. John the Baptist was only a few months older than Jesus.  We know this because Mary went to visit Elizabeth, John's mom. John the Baptist jumps in the womb when Mary enters (Luke 1:39-45)

Fear of the White Coat

I actually don't fear doctors.  I do tend to fear if they are going to actually be treating me with me in mind, or the insurance and pharmaceutical industry in mind.  Anyways, I had my first full physical since 2014 today. I don't recommend you go that long between physicals.

Luckily, everything turned out great in my labs.  For a while, I've been worried my thyroid could be off. I'm almost always tired and I can't seem to shake this excess weight, no matter how hard I work out.  I guess I'm glad that everything is fine, I just wish this weight would have a reason for sticking to me like glue.  I've been using my fitness pal to keep track of my food intake and keep me accountable.

Also, sleep is a huge component of health.  I never seem to get enough anymore.  Maybe it's because almost every night is a dream about my ex or the fact that I can't stop scenarios playing out in my mind. Anyways, I was told to try melatonin.  Walgreens was having their buy one get one free sale; I'm set for 4 months now. Hopefully this will help. Speaking of sleep...I'm going to go get some zzzzz

Hole Lotta Love

Before

I seriously have to love my little princess to still let her in the house.  She loves being under the covers and she chews when she's stressed.  Her favorite thing to chew on, other than me and the other dogs, is the blankets. I can only assume that she then tries to crawl into the holes she's made in the blankets, like she's making a nest or burrow. My newest blanket, that I bought last October, she managed to rip this giant hole into it. I finally took the time to try to fix it.

I had to take out the ripped stuffing and patch in a new piece of batting.  I then tried using stitch-witchery to hold the torn edges together. It never took. So I then pinned and tried to sew by hand just enough to keep it together while I managed it's bulk into the sewing machine. I ended up having to remove the pins and just take it slowly.  Some places the stitching is so close and tight, and then it gets loose.  Those were the places that it started moving easily through the machine. I had to do one spot twice as parts started to pull apart because not enough overlap was sewn together. The ripped parts are now closed up and I have my blanket back now. After I finished, I pretty much vowed that I didn't want to look at a sewing machine for a long time. Alas, she has a hole in my quilt that my grandma made for me.  I must fix that because I'll never get rid of my angel blanket.

After

Trinity seems to be happy that it's back again! I'm no Betty Crocker/Homemaker, but it was nice to be able to save the blanket and not just have to throw it away.

Wildflower

I just finished listening to Wildflower by Drew Barrymore this afternoon on my way home. I liked listening to the stories of her life and getting to know a different side of her than what I see in movies and magazines. She seems like a pretty amazing person, determined not to repeat the mistakes of her past.  I got to see the side of her that produced films, hunted out stories worth telling, attempted to make pancakes, and the famous Toddette. I enjoyed learning about how her and Adam started collaborating together on films and how her film company, was worried about how well Never Been Kissed would do in theaters. I absolutely love that movie. And Charlie's Angels, I think I watched it like 20 times on repeat one summer.

One thing I did notice, is her hodge-podge of "god." She mentions astrology, Eastern religions, Judaism, and New Age.  And I guess I'd say "new age" is like someone saying, "the universe has blessed me with this new juicer." I did like that every curve ball life threw her way, she looked for a lesson...or at least was able to look back when writing this and find a lesson in her trial. Way to go Drew, I hope you find the one and true God some day.

PS: I also came across this song the other day while flipping radio channels.

Bay-Don't-Watch

I grew up watching Baywatch. I loved it!! It's probably why I loved the ocean and wanted to be a marine biologist (for a while...before I found out science and my brain just didn't mesh) without ever setting foot near an ocean.

I movie reboot was just crass. It had a ton of foul language, unnecessary nudity, a dick (balls and all) getting stuck SIDEWAYS in a chair, and slow-mo run focusing on girl and boy parts slow-mo bouncing.  Now, I now, Bay Watch is known for it's slow-mo running, this was just unnecessary slow-mo. There were some funny parts. Watching Ronnie dance as a distraction was pretty hilarious. The story line was not all that bad, actually. They had a crime and murders to solve. I was confused, because it made it seem like Ronnie and Dave were really good friends. Then it switches over to they were just old co-workers. I don't know about you, but I don't just call up my old co-workers to meet me at the beach, let alone would I ask them for assistance if my private parts got stuck in something.


Overall, it was a waste of time. Zac Efron's abs couldn't even save it. I did like when the Rock referred to Zac's character as "High School musical."  Plenty of spoof moments sprinkled throughout.

Friday Follow Up

Favorite Song(s) of the week:
I haven't been listening to too much music this week. I have been listening to my audio book or Pastor Collin Smith's sermons on the way to work. Maybe, Teenagers, by My Chemical Romance.  That song got me super pumped and reliving my teen years.

Favorite Quote(s) of the week:
"I love cookies. I can relate almost anything to cookies. Cookie analogies!" "Oh...I don't see that word in print very often, took me a moment." "Lol, this isn't Kiss the Girls." -convo at work
"If you ever need a boyfriend, my dog is in love with you." - my neighbor about how her dog waits to see me walk by every day and how sad he gets if I don't

Favorite thing done this week:
Mani/Pedi date with my Meep and buy my first pair of Michael Kors sunglasses. They were a splurge, but a necessary one. Last year, I had lasik done. I also tried on a pair of Michael Kors sunglasses for the first time last summer, and it was amazing. My friend was like, all sunglasses will never compare again once you have tried these sunglasses. She was right.

Favorite show/movie of week:
I haven't watched much, but I did like what I saw when I watched Alone. It's kind of like Naked and Afraid, but you get clothes and are solo.

Favorite thing read:
Wildflower by Drew Barrymore

Favorite event:
Friday!

Most inspired moment:
When I actually dragged my but out of bed early Thursday to do my workout before work!

Thought(s)/Epiphany (ies) of the week:
If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say: "I can't pay my bill this week. I only get paid every other week," I would be a millionaire already. Budget people! And besides people who get paid once a month or in big clumps, I'm fairly certain the whole of the job market gets paid bi-weekly.

Weirdest dream: I honestly can't think of a single dream that I had this week. Mostly, my ex turns up in some manner in my dreams; sometimes just a glimpse and sometimes a major part in my dreams. I can't think of any particular dream, so next week I'll have to keep a dream journal to see what twisted things my subconscious is dredging up for me to deal with.

Strike One

These Thirsty Thursday's have gotten difficult. When I started, it was a way to keep me accountable to my goals of not being a hermit/recluse, searching for love and meaning, and getting fit. I added the spiritual element recently as my walk with God has grown. It's also great to keep me accountable with my faith so that I can continue to draw close to the very One who grants my each and every breath.

Physical: I've seen a steady gain of weight in my life. I think it is related to stress and stress eating. I'm still not getting enough sleep either. I feel like there are so many things to do and not enough time. I know good sleep is essential to a healthy life and getting fit.

I started back up with My Fitness Pal. I was finally able to sink it with my Fit Bit. Last week, I saw the scale dip from 168 to 163! I account this mainly to my cycle ending. When I hopped on the scale tonight, it was at 166. That's still down from 168!  Last week, I was only tracking my eating and doing my regular walking routine with the dogs. This week I started up with 21 Day Fix Extreme. I've wanted to just skip it, but I've stuck with it. Tomorrow is cardio though, my least favorite day!

I also have my first physical in 4 years scheduled. Things like lack of insurance have kept me from staying with regular check-ups. I think I will need to get my thyroid checked when I go. I've had some weird struggles with working out and gaining weight. I also seem to be tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. I just want to get back to healthy again.

Relationships: Well, my marriage tanked. Not that I wanted it to. When it was me, sitting alone in the courtroom last December, I cried. When they asked me if I though our marriage was "irrevocably damaged," I said no. I love and care for my ex deeply. He screwed up; he is screwed up. I think a lot of it stems from his inability to express emotions. I think they scare him; especially the big, messy emotions. He copes with poor choices, anger, and pushing people away. I miss him terribly, but I know he needs the work of God in his life.  I know God is the only one that can bring about that miracle change; where He swaps out our old, ugly, hurting, hard heart for a "heart of flesh." That's my heart's prayer, every day.

I have tried going out a few times. It seems it was a strike out though. I asked a guy from work about the situation. I was like, is this one of those, "he's just not that into you" things or do you think he's scared of being a rebound guy. My co-worked was no help. He was like: "could be he's shy, could be he's just not that into you. You may have to make that first move." Well, since I was already the one that worked up the courage to ask this acquaintance out 2 times, I'm thinking I'm over it. After we'd spend time together, he just wouldn't talk to me...for weeks. And we see each other pretty regularly in passing. Oh well. This is not the end. I shall carry on.

I also am back in my beloved book club!!  I love my book club ladies! It is so much fun just to get together once a month to talk books and life. It also turns one of my solitary hobbies into a social one! Win-Win.

Career:  I'm working towards my dreams. I already have an idea for a B&B called "The Pineapple House." I am in love with this idea already. Dreams are dreams, but I need to start really laying out some goals to start moving towards this goal. I also want to go back to school for counseling. I get so bogged down between work, dogs, commute, working out! I need to just do it one of these days. Sign up and go for it!

Spiritual: God is amazingly gracious. I know I screw up everyday. And like most people, I struggle with my ego and pride. I am so grateful that each day is knew and that God is guiding me along the path to sanctification! I'm in a new D-Group. We know call them "huddle groups" because they are much smaller in size. I enjoy my small group of girls. We've all seen some big challenges in life, so we can bolster each other through the tough times. Praise God for bringing these strong ladies into my life. We are starting a new study soon and I am very eager to see what nuggets of wisdom God has tucked away in the study for us.

Well, it's almost my bed time and I need to get to bed so I can get as close to 7 hours of sleep as I possibly can! Gotta wake up and get that cardio done ✓!

Getting Old

As my Pandora shuffled over to My Chemical Romance, I began to sing/scream the lyrics with all the punk/goth/rocker chick spirit I contain. At one point, I realized the tables have turned. At one point, I was the teen screaming about how I'd scare the shit out of my elders. Now, I am the one worried about the teenagers of the day. I'm not really scared about how they dress or what they listen too. I'm more worried that some can't figure out how to manager their money or seem completely oblivious to how things work. Some of the questions I answer for people on a regular basis has me so concerned for our younger generations. I'm not a parent, but I'm already fairly certain I won't let mine set foot in a school. When you've worked with people going to become teachers that don't understand basic principles of language or life, it makes you afraid. Especially when the younger years of child development are so crucial to brain development. I'm still pretty young at heart and I like to think I can still scare someone with my radical-ness; however, I have begun to realize how PG my life is. I can't complain, but seriously, when did I get old?!?




Oh Gerard ❤

Inconvenience Fee

So I recently purchased something online and picked it up in store. I had to pay a convenience fee for them pulling it aside for me. When I got to the store, I expected to just pick up and go. However, it turned out to take about 15 minutes. I had already paid and just needed to pick up. I got pointed to the back of the store and told to go pick it up there. I had to walk passed the item on the shelf to go pick up. I also had to search for someone to help me. I was then told I still needed to go through the check-out to have it noted that I had picked up the item. When I got to the cash register, the cashier had no idea what to do. It was really quite inconvenient to pick it up. I went in thinking that it would be and in and out trip, but it was not at all. It seems that it must be really new to the store, because no one seemed to know what to do. I think I will just do with the going into the store and shopping now.

To Stay or Not to Stay, That is the Question

So if you have ever followed my blog, you know that I am a poly-reader; meaning I am reading multiple books at the same time. Currently, I am reading Wildflower by Drew Barrymore, The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman, and On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingals Wilder.  I get to listen to Wildflower during my commute, read Ice Cream Queen during free time, and Plum Creek while on break at work and between calls. 

The most recent book I finished, was If I Stay by Gayle Forman. I enjoyed the book and listening to it. I don't think it was particular amazing. It is a new way to think about life and death. My personal morals don't quite align with what is portrayed in the movie; but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the story. I'm a sucker for a love-conquers-all kinda story. Mia, the main character, goes through her life story and reasons for staying or leaving life behind, after her family has been in a terrible car crash. I won't spoil it, but I'm pretty sure many people have seen the movie that came out a while ago. If you love stories and seeing life from someone else's view; this is a good book to just enjoy.